"Hello Giant...I hate you."

My baby cousin Zoe is the most spoiled child in the history of the world.



It must be nice to be born into a family where each of your 57 cousins are at least 15 years older than you and you have 23 uncles/aunts and two sets of rich-ass grandparents and all of the above shower you with gifts and affection whenever possible.

Uncle Dick and Auntie Alice's house is no longer their own. It's Zoe's house. Toys are EVERYWHERE. The only DVDs are cartoons and shows featuring creepy grown men in costumes singing alphabet songs.

My Care Bear contribution was scrutinized, deemed acceptable, and quickly tossed into the heap of assorted plushie toys.



We went out for Chinese food and were waited on by a grouchy old Chinese waitress lady, to whom little Zoe asked, "Why are your eyes so MEAN????" "Mommy, why are her eyes so MEAN????"

This was all followed by uncontrollable laughter, from ourselves and the tables around us.

The waitress...was not amused.



What an adorable little monster.