Goodbye Ma'am Oprah!

(CNN) -- Oprah Winfrey knows how to keep viewers on the edge of their seats.

In the last 10 minutes of her show, Winfrey confirmed that she will be ending her syndicated "Oprah Winfrey Show" in September 2011.

"After much prayer and months of careful thought, I thought that next season, season 25, will be the last season of 'The Oprah Winfrey Show,' " she told the audience.

"You may hear a lot of speculation in the press about why I'm making this decision now, and I wanted you to hear it from me," she said. "Twenty-four years ago on September 8, 1986, I went live from Chicago to launch the first show. I was beyond excited, and a little nervous."

Winfrey remained calm after her announcement, even when guest Ray Romano joked that she was going to make this is his mother's saddest and happiest day by simultaneously having Romano on and confirming the Oprah era had come to an end.

"I knew what a miraculous opportunity I had been given, but I certainly couldn't have imagined the yellow brick road of blessings," Winfrey said, pausing as she became visibly and audibly choked up. "You, the viewers, have enriched my life beyond measure. You have graciously invited me into your kitchens, living rooms and lives. Some of you have literally grown up with me; we've grown up together.

"Whether you've been there in the beginning or just started last week, I hold it dear. It still means as much to me to spend an hour with you as it did in 1986," she said.

And then, the answer to the most obvious question: why leave the show? Oprah didn't give much of an answer.

"Here is the real reason: I love this show, this show is my life, and I love it enough to know when it's time to say goodbye. It's the perfect number, the exact right time," she said.

She encouraged her fans to stick out the next 18 months as she and her production team pull out all the stops to make the last season of "Oprah" one that will "knock your socks off."

"The countdown to the end of 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' starts now," she said. "Until that day, I intend to soak up every meaningful, joyful moment with you. I'll see you on Monday."

OMFG so jealous.

Max you bastard.



Oh, of course PamLittky has the Oprah hookup.



O!!!!! What a little cutie pie!

I'm not sure if I'm more jealous of this or of Danny's having gone to Elton John's Oscar Party last year and being there AGAIN as I type.

Update: KIEFER IS AT DANNY'S TABLE!!!!!!

Oprah is going to heaven.

I mean, well, obviously.

She already bought Bernadette a house.

And saved the people of New Orleans. (A couple of them anyway.)

And now she's opened her Leadership Academy which she hopes is going to change the future of Africa and the world.

And it is. It really really is.



Did anyone catch "Building A Dream"? I have it on my TiVo if you missed it.

It is so sad, and inspiring, and makes you just want to jump out of your chair, raise your arms to the sky, and scream "GOD BLESS YOU MA'AM OPRAH!!!!"

Seriously. I almost cried.

I can't wait until she and I and Jen Aniston are BFF and we can have slumber parties and eat gold and all that cool shit.

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Also. Jared Cotter is SO HOT.



If only he picked better songs...

My phone doesn't know how to spell "Oprah"...

I'm very upset.

And I'm sure she would be too.

On gratitude and monkys...

My friend Oprah is a very smart lady. She is a billionaire. I think if you're a billionaire, people should automatically be forced to listen to what you have to say because it might be useful and important.

Oprah saves lives. Oprah gifts houses and cars to strangers. Oprah knows JENNIFER ANISTON. Oprah is special.

She also insists that everyone keep a "gratitude journal".

A gratitude journal is a journal in which every day you list five things for which you are grateful. It doesn't matter if you have a lot or have a little, or if you have a shitty life or a wonderful life filled with jewels and handjobs. Everyone has things in their life that they are and should be grateful for. In recognizing the things that you have, and in making gratitude a daily practice, you can change your entire outlook on life.

"If you start being grateful for what you have, you will begin to see that you have more. That is how you increase abundance in your life, is by seeing what you already have." -Oprah Winfrey

Oprah also sings "Jesus Loves Me" every time she jogs in front of her Montecito home.

Now I think five things is a lot. So I've decided to feel grateful for just one thing per day, just in case I start to run out of things.

Today, I am grateful for monkys.



I realize that the appropriate spelling of the word is with an "e", but I think that M-O-N-K-Y is how a real monky would spell it if a monky knew how to spell. It just feels right.

So why oh why are monkys so great?

Well, without monkys there would not be humans. There would be no you. There would be no me. There would be no Oprah.

Of course some of us are more closely linked to the monkys than others. But we all come from monkys.

Also, monkys like bananas which are one of the best fruits in the entire world (second only to pineapples).

Monkys live in trees and can swing on vines.

Monkys took care of Tarzan when he was abandoned in the forest.

Monkys are cute and furry.

Monkys don't care what others think of them.

Monkys don't judge.

And monkys eat flies and other bugs so that we don't have to.

Yes, monkys are pretty damn cool. For monkys I am grateful.

The Big O just keeps on winning...

Even in Hong Kong, the Oprah/James Frey/A Million Little Pieces Story is front page news.



I totally thought the book was slightly bogus when I first read it so I wasn't surprised when the allegations surfaced a couple of weeks ago that many of the events that happened were slightly or totally fabricated.

But I saw some clips of Oprah's apology to the public and I am just totally amazed at how she does it. She fully redeemed herself in a matter of minutes. She held herself accountable.

OPRAH, I FORGIVE YOU!

Ooooh...weird dream.

So I had this dream (and this is probably The Island-related) but I dreamed that I was a fugitive on the run. Not sure, but I might have been a clone of someone. Anyway, we were holed up in this Best Western in the middle of nowhere and some people kept bringing our luggage because there was so much of it (by the way, my clone-partner was Oprah).

And then Oprah kept offering me candies and chocolates and I kept telling her I don't really want them because I'm afraid of getting cavities.

And she said, "Well I'm afraid of people robbing me so stop fucking forgetting to lock the door!"

And then I woke up.

Oprah's going to Heaven!!!

Kristy and I just sat and watched the entire Oprah show from today. She was reporting Live from the Superdome or whatever in Houston. It was the most depressing thing I've ever seen.

I actually have it on my TiVo if anyone wants to watch it. It's much more informative than watching the real news. She actually has cameras on the ground interviewing people, capturing footage of corpses, injured people, feces, more corpses, and they actually go INTO the now deserted Superdome.



It's so horrible. People dying and being left in the water and the corpses exploding with pus and disease because of the gas that builds up in the intestines from the decomposition. Gang fights inside the Superdome where there are tens of thousands of people and families trying to survive. And in darkness might I add. 15,000 people living in an enclosed stadium without electricity while people are getting shot and murdered. Stories of children and babies being raped. God. Police officers who have committed suicide and 80% of which are now homeless and many have worked for 5 days straight because they are just good people doing their jobs. Sick/injured people that are hurt beyond repair being left "to die in peace" among hundreds of corpses in the makeshift morgues in the New Orleans AIRPORT. Diseases that will be spreading in the weeks to come because everyone has been wading around in water that has 45,000 times the dangerous bacteria content.

It's so absurd that George Bush is starting an investigation into what went wrong. Look in the mirror you dumb donkey ass. On top of that the federal government is blaming all the local governments for not doing enough. What the hell are local officials supposed to do when their homes and resources are all UNDER WATER and they have no electricity?

It is so sickening and sad. I can't believe Oprah actually went down there. Walked through crowds of dirty disgusting diseased people who all wanted to hug and kiss her. And she actually let them touch her. She talked to them and hugged them and kissed and comforted them. I'm so worried for her health. It's a silly thing to say. But I'm worried that she's going to get all these horrible diseases from all the sick, helpless people just because she is such a good person.



I wish I could be that good a person. I wish I could go and hug those who need hugs without worrying for my own safety or health. But unfortunately I know that tomorrow or the next day I'll just go back to being the same selfish person, worrying about my job and seeing my friends and having a good time. In the scheme of things and humanity I suck.

Oprah deserves every single cent that she has.

Kristy cried for the full 45 minutes. I'm going to donate some clothes or something tomorrow. God knows I have enough of those and who knows, maybe there will be someone who wears size 36 Length chinos.