American Idol = Snorefest

American Idol is so so SO boring this year.

All the guys are lame.

None of them are attractive.

(Well one of them (Tim Urban) is adorable, but he can't sing.)

But Simon liked him. And his name is Tim Urban.

So I voted for him.

But god this season is awful.

Plus, Ellen's neck is scary and old-looking.

Plus, I miss Paula.

American Idol!

So I'm just now getting into American Idol again. Are y'all watching?

My favorite girl so far I think is Didi who looks like Blake Lively.

I also kind of like the black girl who was dressed all in white and butchered "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". There was something kind of charming about how she just went and happily diarrhea-ed all over the Beatles.

The Asian is DEFINITELY going home.



American HATES Asian guys. Especially when they look and act as fobby as he does and make idiotic comments like "Yeah, I'm here for the money." (WHEN are they going to pick a gorgeous TimLoh-y Asian with a fantastical voice that ALL of America can swoon over??? (Sasians don't count, Anoop!))

For the guys...I kind of like the guy that Kara's obsessed with.

Speaking of Kara. She has good taste.

Did y'all know Kara got married to the hunky contractor who built the house next to hers in Maine last year?



Yahhhh. Good work Cougartown!




Also I think Ellen has been generally useless as a judge.

I kind of like her as a person. And I enjoyed her in the auditions and Hollywood week, but as a judge I don't think she brings anything to the table.

I also am continually baffled by how bad some of the performances are. These are supposed to be the best 24 people they auditioned out of ALL OF AMERICA. They should ALL be knocking it out of the park.

Still...I don't think they'll ever find an idol as wonderful as David Archuleta.

Adam Lambert is not enjoyable.

OK so I finally decided to but aside my bias and give Adam Lambert a chance by downloading the studio version of his song and listening to it...or trying to.

I'm sorry. He is truly awful.

Here are studio versions of the two Idols' finale single "No Boundaries".

You can compare their voices once and for all.

For all of you people who think Adam was robbed. Well...you are silly. And apparently deaf. I am amazed that you can listen to his version without wanting to rip your hair out after one minute and fifteen seconds.

Kris's version of "No Boundaries":



Adam's version:



Kris Allen 4 EVA!

VICTORY!!!!!

Just arrived in NYC to the fantastic news that Kris Allen won American Idol!

So happy. Someone please keep the finale taped so I can watch it.



-- Post From My iPhone

Kris Allen should win American Idol

I called it back in the Top 36. I hope I'm right.

I don't see how he won't win. He and Adam were separated by a million votes last week. Danny got kicked off. And Kris will probably inherit all of Danny's votes. Right? Right? Please tell me I'm right.

Kripples 4 Kris!!!!!

I do not enjoy Adam or his tranny voice.

American Idol: Final Four!

Naia got me tickets! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY



We were dressed in our finest Cinco De Mayo gear.



But we got there and there were ambulances everywhere.



Apparently during dress rehearsal one of the huge rotating light-globes (you can see them below turned off in the corners) got jammed and shattered and started to collapse which caused the side staircase to collapse WHILE PEOPLE WERE ON IT and the stage manager fell and broke herself. CRAZYTOWN



It was mayhem and they rushed us in at the last minute and were seriously behind schedule and filmed little pieces of each performance for the end of the show while we were all finding our seats.

The show went on though.



Kris was dreamy. But got a bad review from Simone.



No Doubt played at the end.




Oh and I won a t-shirt during a commercial break for being Kris's biggest fan!



And we got a good closeup as the Idols entered the stage.

(The little Clapper Mexican next to me kept looking over at me in awe.)



Also we were featured prominently in the background.



Oh and Kris waved at me BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHO I AM (because I did Katy's headshots)

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had pigtails I would pull at them and scream and bonk my head from side to side.

Mrs. Tenderdog!

So I went to American Idol a few weeks ago and got to be an honorary member of Kris Allen's family...



Kris's wife Katy and I hit it off immediately since I had come bearing my "Kripples 4 Kris" sign and, since they're 90% certain they'll be settling down in LA once all this Idol craziness is over, she happened to be in the market for headshots.

Today she came over for her session and brought along her friend Alex who you may remember as being kicked off in the Top 36...



We took some cute pictures.



And I just added a new layout to my website: www.dkheadshots.com



We drove by the American Idol billboard where they paint a big blue "X" over each eliminated contestant every week (which we contemplated climbing in order to draw a big heart around Krissy...)



And then had a scrumptious lunch at Bossa Nova.



Katy reminds me of Reese Witherspoon and is such an awesome girl. I can totally see how she scored our future American Idol.

She gave me the inside scoop on Idol and all the fun backstage gossip.

Hoping to end up back at the show soon!

www.dkheadshots.com

Watch Idol tonight!

Dr. Dan & I will be there!

Vote for Tenderdog!

8pm on FOX.

VOTE FOR TENDERDOG!!!

Call 1-866-436-5709 or text (AT&T only) the word VOTE to 5709.

Lines are open until 10:30 central - its all free and unlimited.

KRIPPLES 4 KRIS!!!!!



I Facebook-friended Kris's wife today who I met at the show last time around. Yayyyy internets.

SAFE!

Thank you everyone who kept safe the tenderdog.

American Idol Night Two: Family section!

Update: Ooh I got a shout-out as having the "Odd Sign of the Night" on E! Online's "What You Didn't See"!

After my Idol-buddy Eric called last night (with Kris Allen on the line) saying he had two extra tickets for me to attend for the second night in a row I thought, shit I would love to....but I have plans with my dad and it's his last day in town.......

My dad doesn't understand celebrity. Doesn't get why people read Us Weekly or People Magazine. Doesn't care about TMZ or read Perez. And he deeeeefinitely has never watched an episode of American Idol.

So I brought him.

And this time my handicapped-ness managed to finagle us some blue tickets in the family section!

2nd row. Right behind Kris Allen's family.



I made him carry the Simon sign.



But because our seats were much more conspicuous this time around, I didn't manage to sneak too many pictures.



It was fun though. The music was great. The group performance decent.

Brad Paisley performed.

Ryan threw a water balloon at Simon but completely missed and hit a girl in the front row.

And there was a surprise David Cook performance.



Dad actually enjoyed it somewhat. Though he did still manage to doze off at times.



But the best part?

Was watching them announce Kris Allen's results.




And becoming an honorary member of Kris's family!!!!



I befriended Kris's mom and his pretty wife Katy.

They liked my "Kripples 4 Kris" sign, which was very much appreciated because most of the signs in the crowd were for Adam or Danny.

Eric tried to score me a picture with Kris, but right after the show the kids were rushed off to Camarillo to take a private jet to Detroit or something, so there just wasn't time.

His dad didn't even get to say goodbye to him.

I still have hope though.

Someday I will get my Kris pic.

.....................................................

Being at Idol for the second night in a row, I was kind of blown away by the immense power of this show.

It's surreal.

Really it's just a fancy stage in a big room. But the stage is much bigger than the audience section.

And when the performers are performing, they're performing for the couple hundred people in that room. They don't see the rest of America. They see us. Right there. In the room.

Sure there are a ton of cameras. But how do you really wrap your head around the fact that 30 MILLION people are watching you perform at that very second?

Talking with Kris's parents, seeing the way the contestants and judges all interact with each other off-camera, everyone's just really....normal. What they're doing and saying isn't even necessarily extraordinary. But the transformative power of those cameras in that room, taking their images and voices and turning it into instant superstardom, is nothing short of incredible.

.....................................

Of course, leaving the sound stage, I also realized that though the show has created household names such as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken, Chris Daughtry, and David Archuleta...

You sometimes also end up with people who are complete jokes...

...like Justin Guarini.

AMERICAN IDOL!!!!

So it was the big day.

Evan and I decided to make signs and dress in green in order to:

A. Properly celebrate St. Patty's Day.

B. Get noticed by our favorite performer/judge.

and

C. Get on TV.

....................................

Still can't get over how much Evan looks like Bobby.






We got to CBS, where the show is being filmed, and the line was insane. Outside, and around the block.



Happily I brought my cripplewheels and we got to skip all that nonsense and go in through the friends and family/handicapped entrance.



And, because I'm "unable to do stairs", we pretty much sat in front. 2nd row left.



Right behind all the families of the contestants.



It was country night. And everyone sounded AMAZING live.

Also, the stage is ENORMOUS.

They only ever show the bottom half on TV because the band sits in the top half.



The cheering and loud music really helps to hide a bad performance, because later on when we watched it back on West Coast feed, we definitely noticed some not-awesomeness that was not apparent during the live taping.



During commercial breaks, Simon turned and waved and blew kisses at us constantly. He really liked our poster.

They also had a little audience wrangler who keeps everyone's energy up by being kind of funny, kind of douchey, bringing people on stage to sing (Lil Rounds's sister below), and passing out awesome free stuff.



Stupid Evan almost won an iPod Touch when he claimed to be "The Biggest Country Music Fan EVER." But when asked to name three Randy Travis songs (Randy was the mentor that night) he totally failed to name even one.

Randy was not pleased.

..........................................

After the taping, we got a special performance by Carrie Underwood and Randy Travis.



Evan really was the biggest country music fan though, and knew like every song.



When I got home, we were sitting on the couch when Eric called me.

He was with the kids at their Bel Air mansion and he put Kris on the line!



So cool!

Kinda awkward.

But so cool!

After we chatted, Eric came back on and said he had a "huge favor" to ask of me.

He had two tickets for tomorrow's show that he couldn't get rid of.

Looks like we're going back for the results show!

So awesome.

AND...we were all over the telecast!




I think for the results show I'll bring a big "DKHeadshots.com"sign.

30 million people...there's gotta be a headshot client or two in there somewhere...