Dark Knight Rises was TERRIBLE

Batman 3 was so irritatingly bad.

Doesn't anybody remember Batman Begins?

Gotham City used to be cool and unique and futuristic-looking with a big fancy monorail system...now it is just scenes very clearly shot on Wall Street or LA and most of the skyline shots are obviously New York with little attempt to disguise it as anything else.

Oh...and the Bane voice was just a really long Fake Sean Connery from Celebrity Jeopardy impression.

The story was jumbled, confusing as hell, and a whole ton of things logistically made ZERO sense. In order to accept this story, you had to suspend a HUGE amount of disbelief.

I mean, Bane’s crew takes over the NYSE and executes a series of clearly fraudulent stock trades, effectively bankrupting Bruce Wayne. Did no one in the financial world think to just reverse these trades?

Then the prison made no sense. Who builds a prison that you are able to climb out of? And you're allowed to attempt that climb with a safety rope? And who is running this prison? It appears that inmates are given an unlimited number of chances to escape. It also appears that all these supposedly horrible people (they attacked Bane after he helped a small girl) are now all friends who help each other train and cheer on each other’s escape attempts.

And the wall-climb that featured a big leap from one ledge to another...you can't expect us to be awed by the jump if you don't actually show us a wide shot of the distance he/she is jumping!!!!!

THEN, there’s a ticking bomb that needs to be defused, but Batman somehow finds the time to paint a giant version of his logo on a bridge using gasoline and then rig it up so that Commissioner Gordon can ignite it from down on the ground. He does this for the sole purpose of it looking cool. Was that really the best use of your time, Batman?

ALSO, there were a huge number of fights...like for instance the one where the police force goes up against the heavily-armed villains. And they run toward them BAREHANDED? AS THEY ARE BEING FIRED UPON????

AGHHHHHHH!!!!!

I was so frustrated by how haphazardly shot and edited the entire film was. It looked like a fancy film school project, not an epic finale by a legendary director.

ANNNNND:

SPOILER ALERT:

Marion Cottillard's last words were quite possibly the most poorly-acted death scene ever by an Academy Award winner.

THOR!

So I realized today that I actually didn't have to be at the airport until 5pm so Chrispy and I got some lunch and then snuck into the movie theater to see THOR.



Chrispy thinks "it is THE BEST Marvel movie" he's ever seen. By far. And believe me he is an authority on such things.



It was so well done in fact, and the story so moving, that at multiple points I looked over and saw Chrispy CRYING.



I think part of this is due to great directorship by Kenneth Brannagh. Having come from a more Shakespeare-ical background, he's able to make all the mythological comic-y stuff a lot more engaging and convincing and way less hokey than you see in a lot of other movies.

Plus the actors in it are phenomenal. Like Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins hello.



And Thor himself is quite a sight to behold.




Crazy good!

OK now I'm going to go watch Never Say Never on repeat. See you in Singapore!

The Roommate / Never Say Never Double Feature!

My last night in LA, Sunday Night, there were two huge movies out that Lady Di and I both really wanted to see.

The Roommate and Never Say Never.

We decided to see The Roommate first, since Never Say Never was obviously going to be the better, more-uplifting movie.

First though, we stopped at Cheesecake Factory for some big fruity drinks.



We got to the theater and it was empty.



The Roommate was everything we had hoped it would be.



It was ludicrous, hilarious, terrifying. (I think a 6% tomatometer rating on rottentomatoes was a great indicator of how much we were going to enjoy it.)

If you liked I Know Who Killed Me, you will LOVE this movie.

--------------------------------------------

After The Roommate, we had an hour to kill. So we went straight back to Cheesecake Factory and ordered more drinks.



And some "appetizers"...



We had budgeted half an hour to wait in line to ensure that we got good seats...

And sure enough we were the first ones in the theater again! Yay!



This time though, the theater ended up being pretty full.

And then movie....was amazing.



As you may know, or could probably guess, the movie follows Justin Bieber on his crazy path to worldwide superstardom. From his days playing the guitar on the steps of his local movie theater to his first time performing at Madison Square Garden. All of which happened in the span of just over a year.



People who dismiss the Biebs as talentless and annoying would have nothing to say for themselves after watching this film. Sure, his screaming tweeny fans are SUPER annoying, but the Biebs himself is the defintion of talent.



I think I also just really loved the movie because it reminds you that anything really is possible and that A LOT can happen in the span of a year.



We are Beliebers for life.



Never. Say. Never!!!!!

I'm going to watch it again this week. Let me know if you want to come!

LOVED

This movie:



Saw it last night with Amanduh. We loved it. Love love loved it. Everyone. Fantastic. Adorable. Beautiful.

Loves Natalie. LOVES Ashton.

Love.

Burlesque!

So Lady Di and I have been talking about wanting to see Burlesque for months now, ever since those first amazing trailers came out.

Well finally the night arrived.



It was beautiful out at The Grove. All the Christmas decorations were up.



We met up with Brian and Will and Danny and got drinks by the fountain. (The fountain was designed by the same dude who did the Bellagio fountain.)






And then went into the theater to save seats for the show.



The movie is amazing in an I Know Who Killed Me kind of way.

We cackled our way through every ridiculous moment. Don't go in expecting any Oscar-worthy performances and you'll be just fine.

And take a sip of your alcohol any time they say the word "BURLESQUE"!!!

Precious!

We saw Precious yesterday.

What an uplifting movie!



And by uplifting I mean it makes you want to lift yourself up on a stool and tie a noose nice and tight around your face (not neck) and hang yourself.

Whhheeeeeee!

Does anyone know if they make Precious or Mo'Nique action figures because I really really want one.

Up in the Air

So I'm at LAX waiting for my 16 hour flight to Hong Kong via Taipei.

(Showed up 4 hours early to ensure an exit row seat. Ugh.)



Already I feel like I'm in Asia. Over the loudspeaker they just paged a lady named "Baby Chow" and a man named "Simeon Wong".

Simeon. Like Simian. Like Monky.

(I think once I get to Hong Kong I'll work on a new Asian Names and People post.)

.......................................

Anyway, I saw Up in the Air the other day because my friend had an Academy screener.

It was a really good. And it was kind of about my life (minus some awesomeness and friendships and gay dancing.)




Obviously I'm played by George Clooney.




Let's place bets on what age he will be when he finally stops being dreamy.



See you in Hong Kong!

NINE!!!!

I posted the original trailer for Nine back when I first discovered it.

I've been waiting for months to see this movie.



Well Danny and I got to go to an advance screening of it tonight. (It opens Dec 25th.)

And it was AWESOME.

Directed by Rob Marshall, who also directed "Chicago", it's bigger and better and SO MUCH SEXIER.

Starring Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren, Kate Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cottilard, Judi Dench, and Fergie....all singing and dancing...the visuals and dance numbers were all breathtaking.













If you like musicals.... Or jaw-droppingly sexy women.... you have to see this movie. It's one of those movies that is so big in scale that you really have to watch it in the theater.

Even Kate Hudson, who suffers from a little bit of fat-face, kicks ass in her musical number, "Cinema Italiano".

Check out the latest trailer featuring her amazing singing and dancing below (fyi, she says "Guido" like fifty-six times because the main character's name is Guido Contini):



Amazing.

Princess + Frog

This screenshot summarizes how I felt about The Princess and the Frog, which is was SUPER excited to see last night...



Skeptical. Unimpressed. Sad.

I was really hoping that it would be wonderful.

But it wasn't.

There were definitely moments that made me very happy and had me LOLing like a giddy little girl, but....they spent most of the movie as friggin' FROGS!

Here are some reviews I agree with:

"Brilliant artwork offset by weak characters and forgettable songs. "

"An important Disney movie but one lacking the emotional impact and memorable great songs of his other hits. "

"Most of The Princess and the Frog looks more like one of Disney’s straight-to-DVD sequels than like their animated classics, and the few big, fun musical set-pieces are brought down by second-rate songwriting."

"Slapdash and second rate in script, animation and musical score, The Princess and the Frog is as shrill, uninteresting and headache-inducing as the worst Saturday morning cartoon. "

"A dull holiday animated feature set in New Orleans with bland characters and an uninventive storyline. "

................................

I think they would have been better off making a movie called The Princess and the FrOG (Friend Of Gays)... a story about a beautiful princess who has to deal with the constant headache of her gorgeous boyfriend being way too gay-friendly and/or metrosexual.

THAT is a movie I think people would love to see.

NEW MOON

I mentioned that MAO and I went to see New Moon the other day right?

It was her second time seeing it.

And she's going again this week I think.




I wasn't hugely into the first movie though I will admit R-Patz is quite breathtakingly beautiful.

But this movie. Taylor Lautner. Oh My God.

The movie was so entertaining.

And I literally gasped the first time he took his shirt off.

You really have to watch this movie in a packed theater if you can because bitches are crazy all hootin' and hollerin' for a hot 16-year-old.

Anne remains true to Team Edward though.