San Diego: Arrival & PlaidParty

So exactly two weeks ago, before I went to New Orleans or Atlanta, I went to San Diego to meet up with Will and Jesse and Smileyjohn!

You know who else lives in San Diego? Sean!

I haven't seen Seany since Southern Decadence 2009! Wow. Time flies...

Sean, is a local celebrity in San Diego. He bartends at The Hole. And as a hot bartender in a tiny town, you tend to know everyone everywhere, and they shower you with free drinks.

EEEK!!!

Soon Jesse and Will arrived...

Smileyjohn is the BEST host! (Even though I suspect he was totally annoyed with us the entire time.)

Sallydog is the CUTEST!

We had an impromptu plaid party!

And so we hit the bars.

Now when Jesse and I go out together, people ALWAYS want to talk to us (because we are such beautiful giants, and it's such an easy conversation topic, obvi!)

Usually, though, the people that come up to us are total weirdos and get all up in our faces. And being from LA, we're used to this kind of crap and have equipped ourselves with some shade to deal with it....

But after being REALLY RUDE to a couple of our admirers, we realized, you can't be busting out L.A.-face in San Diego. Because people in San Diego are NICE! And FRIENDLY!

So we tried our best to do-away with our L.A.-faces and instead treated all our annoying admirers to beautiful shining SD-faces.

Check out these great before and afters...

L.A.-face!

SD-face!

L.A.-face...

SD-face!

L.A.-Face....

San Diego face!!!!

And one more...

Yay!!!!

Everyone LOVES a plaidparty!!!

We just wanna daaaaayeeeyyaaayeeeyaaayeeeyance!!!!!

It's SO fun being nice and friendly!!!!

Diana's Going Away Party!

Since Diana moves to Arizona next week to begin true marriedlife, we decided to throw her a little going away party and take her out gay dancing one last time.

Whenever Jesse and I plan parties together, there HAS to be a theme. A theme makes everything more FUN!

And DUHHHHH...it's Christmas!!!

We started our night with a meal of nuggets and other snacks.

Diana found herself a cute little mini cat hat to wear...

After dinner, we were joined by a SUPER GAY Reindeer!

We LOVES being festive!!!

And we just LOVES Lady Di!!!!

Danny arrived and brought with him some FANCY champagne, we're talking Veuve, but the FANCY Veuve.

We danced around squealing, giggling, and singing songs at the top of our lungs from Beauty and the Beast and other assorted Pop and Christmas classics like "All I Want For Xmas" by Mariah...OBVIOUSLY.

We were hellbent on annoying the s*it out of Diana's awful downstairs neighbor, since there was very little she could do now that Diana was moving out anyway!

Then we went to the club and danced our little heinies off...

This is the site I woke up to next morning...LOL.

LA will miss Diana! But I'm sure it's not the last we'll see of her.

She will always have her Guardian Gays!

RAINBOW STORM / Diana's Bachelorette

Jesse, Will, Smileyjohn and I rolled into Palm Springs on Saturday afternoon to join in on Diana's Bachelorette celebration.



We checked into our room at the Renaissance, a gorgeous resort hotel.



And we spent a good hour or two dancing around our hotel room and being really really gay.




Then we stopped at a Jewish deli for giant sandwiches.



And then it was on to the pretty little house Diana and her ladyfriends had rented for the weekend for a little preparty.

Originally our entrance was supposed to be a surprise...but some awful secret-keeper failed to keep it a secret.





Diana love love LOVES the gays, as you can probably tell from her frequent appearances when we go gay dancing. So the theme for the night was RAINBOW.



Our preparty was super fun. We decorated the bride-to-be in the usual phallic accoutrements.




And we stood around and played several rounds of Never Have I Ever "It's gotta be SEXUAL!!!" edition as we eagerly awaited the arrival of some "special guests".





Finally our guests, the strippers, arrived.

We had ordered them from www.palmspringsstrippers.com and hand-picked "Drew" and "Travis" to appear.

But upon arrival, it was VERY clear that neither of our visitors were Drew or Travis.

And one of the strippers was SO FAT and REFUSED to take off his shirt, saying "I'm so out of shape." To which we responded, "Then WHY are you HERE?!?!?" It was ridiculous that he had the audacity to even show up AND that he expected to be paid. It made for a funny story though.

In fact...a couple weeks before, I had been ichatting with Jesse and we had said:

me: wouldn't it be HILARIOUS
if he was hideous
6:26 PM
and he tries to dance on everyone
and each person who he goes up to is like ewww! ewww! get away!!!
Jesse: and we all SHRIEK!!!
me: HAHHAHAHHAHA
Jesse: lol
omg!
me: like he's a cockraoach!!!
me: hahahahahhaa
Jesse: lol
omg
dennis!

And that's pretty much EXACTLY what happened.



Obviously these pictures are going to be froggified.

But you can kind of get idea of what went down.









SO we had one FAT STRIPPER. And then the other stripper was a HOMOPHOBE. He refused to make eye contact with any of the boys. After about half an hour we asked them to leave. Never in my life would I ever have thought I'd be asking a stripper to LEAVE!

.............

From there we cabbed it to Hunter's. A fun dancey bar.






I was gesturing wildly and accidentally poked Jesse right in the eyeball. Literally I felt it squish. It was so gross. That's why he's squinting in this group picture.



We loves a rainbow storm!



There were so many girls and names to remember that we came up with the funniest nicknames for everyone. Sunshine...Azul....Coral....Macy...Katinka....Jeeem...




Late arrivals Danny and Steven were a welcome addition as always.







All us boys wore capes by the way. And EVERYONE was SO JEALOUS.




And then came the RAINBOW STORM!




It followed Lady Di everywhere she went.




So amazing.



And Will channeled Erykah Badu.



"I LOVE GAYS!!!!!!!!"



We just danced and danced and danced and acted SILLY.












It was SO FUN.

---------------------------------

Some other hilarious quotes of the night.

"I'm actually a really successful realtor. I've love to come back when I'm in shape and show you what I can do." -The Fat Stripper
"Yeah right...BUH-BYE!!!!" -Jesse

"I only want to sleep under a rainbow!"

"I'm really nice....TO YOUR FACE." -what Smileyjohn's tagline would be if we were in a reality show

"We don't NEED to be the center of attention...we just ARE!" -what Jesse's would be

"Rainbow storm!!!!! Rainbow storm!!!!"

"D-I-N. DIANA!" (cheered to the tune of Madonna's "Gimme All Your Luvin")

"SmileyJohn, you're SO smart but then you say something totally stupid like that Coral is a shade of blue... give us back your Ph.D!"

"Wait....you have other gays?!?!?!" (to Diana when we found out other gays were attending)
"Oh they're from work? That's ok. Every workday needs a work gay!"

"We LOVES Lulu!!!" (30 minutes later) "We HATE Lulu!!!!"



At brunch the next day we sat separately from the girls because we weren't sure if maybe they had overloaded on Gay and if Diana suddenly woke up and realized that she HATES gays.



But no...she still loves us.



Happy Bachelorette Lady Di!