Halloweeeneeen Night !ONE

I happy to annoucne we have gone out for ahllwoeeen!

afrte perpeaytions int he mirrore




we went tpartpre party upstairs.



racheal had babbeis







and tnhe ot mcmaster gay party.







and then bakc home!and meghan wasa slutty with amornmon.




waflehold wafllelove



and i am please to presnet. our newsest beast frrend...

neighor. modle. friined.

matt.

Cabo Happy Hour!!!!

So Rach & Bri and I were SUPPOSED to go to Cabo for Happy Hour.

Instead, the smell of sweet succulent popcorn chicken fingers lured us to Q's.

After feasting on 5+ plates of FREE chicken fingers and chili fries, we finally made it next door to Cabo to meet up with Chris and Doug and eventually Megoon and Kristy and Kristy's visitor friend Susan.

Rach kept getting hit on by the ugly bouncer while Bri and I focused on DRINKING.

In the race to get as many 2-for-1 drinks as possible before the 8pm cutoff, we got obliterated and ended up drunk dialing/texting everyone in our phones.

We went back to Q's, where Meredith hooked us up with shots/beer/water galore.

Then I came home and snored while the girls tried to watch Clueless.

A wonderful start to Halloween weekend.

I'm kidding dudes...

Seriously.

I hope you know I'm kidding.

I know I like bad music. But I don't like BAD music...

Lindsay Lohan is like a shrieking donkey.

And not a good one.

Lindsay's Latest Single (It's so good)

Confessions of A Broken Heart - An Excerpt

Daughter to father! Daughter to father!
I don't know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father! Daughter to father!
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Cause these are, these are...
The confessions of a broken heart

I love you,
I love you
I love you
I....!!!!!
I love you!!

Ohhh....yeah...
I wait...for the postman...to bring me a letter...

Somebody give this girl a Grammy.

New pictures!!!

I've been so productive pictorially today.

I already got the Heroin Chic pictures out of the way to get ready for the crazy Halloween pictures that I'm sure are soon to come.

Then I went down to Santa Monica where Meg cooked me a delicious meatball lunch, I got a parking ticket (bugger), and we took a bunch of pretty pictures as I practiced using my beautiful new camera. Yayyyy!

The Boys Upstairs

What does our upstairs neighbor and new best friend look like?

Well...I would say he's a cross between Jason Lewis.



And Travis Fimmel.



What's that? You say they're almost the same?

Uh...yeah...

They're both YUMMYYYY

Bjoerny Bjoern: Day One

Went in to work for Bjoern today.

I worked out of his teeny little apartment. He has a living room, a bathroom, and a kitchen. He sleeps on a single-person futon in his living room. I guess he spends all his money on his horses.

So he had like 5 or 6 shoots over the weekend (6 x $600 = $3600!).

I helped him load all his selects in. Cropped. Rotated. Pretty simple stuff. I picked up a few new Photoshop shortcuts. Very very useful.

While the pics were loading I browsed around his apartment and found several items that gave me some insight into his personality and tastes.

Some things I found:

Hotel LaChappelle (David LaChappelle's amazing photo book)
Maxim (means he appreciates humor and sarcasm)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (though I'm not really a fan, any grown man who reads Harry Potter has to be kind of cool)
X-Box (only fun people play video games)
Enrique Iglesias CD (ENRIQUE!!!)

Bottom line: I love Bjoern.

AND he paid me in cash.

Heroin Chic

Of course we all remember the over-hyped, guestlist-less, bribetastic extravaganza of late August. Heck, people who didn't even go that night still talk about it...

Well, Little Miss Naia-pants regained her party cred last night, hosting a fantastic little Heroin Chic theme party, complete with rose petals, candles, and syringes.



It was a great time.

It started out as an all-girl party. (What's the opposite of a sausage-fest?) But after 11:30 the Maxes and Walters and TimUrbans of the world started trickling in. By midnight-ish we were all swinging from the chandeliers.

Or on the couch. Drooling.



Somehow I woke up on the pull-out couch snuggled up to Lindsay, thinking she was Owen, their hot neighbor-boy from upstairs.

Oh and of course I had no idea where I put my glasses.

So, being blind as a cavebat I crawled around the ENTIRE apartment, flailing my arms like little antennae for at least twenty minutes. I was about to admit defeat and wake up drunken hungover Naia to help me find them (I had to do this once to Thomas the first week of freshman year, oh god it is quite possibly the most humiliating thing EVER). But then I found them.

I wish my eyes worked like a normal human's.

Celebrity Sighting!!!!!

Just saw fashion photographer/former model Nigel Barker of America's Next Top Model fame in Santa Monica.

I was walking by Equinox with Kristy after visiting the farmer's market, when I looked in and saw him just standing in the window, talking to some people.

We made eye contact for more than a few seconds. I think he had just finished working out. He had a cute little paunch.

Well anyway, I just tracked down his email and shot him a note to see if he needs an assistant.

Maybe I should join Equinox. I'm sure all the cool, chill Santa Monica celebrities that live in the area go there. Like Ben McKenzie.

GWEN!!!!!

We went to see Gwen Stefani @ the Hollywood Bowl tonight. Gwen AND the Black Eyed Peas. Pretty frickin' ridiculous. Sadly we missed most of the BEP because we were stuck in traffic.



The drive there was...exciting, to say the least.

It seems that our little Megoon suffers from a mild to severe case of Hollywood road rage. After sitting in 2-feet-per-minute traffic for what seemed like eternity, she just decided to start driving through intersections. When the light was red.

I don't think it was just a coincidence that not two minutes after our second near-death experience we saw the below "advertisement" on the back of a bus.



Cut to the concert.

It was amazing. There were probably like 60,000 people.



We sang. We danced. (Well, I KIND of danced. I really just half-squatted and wiggled around so as to not block the people in the rows behind me.)

But that shit was...how do they say...ah yes, bananas.

Thursday @ Bungalow Club

I really must learn to resist food.

Megoon called at around 5:15 yesterday. We went to Q's for a deliciously horrible fried dinner of Chicken Fingers, Mini Tacos, Tater Tots, and Chili Fries. Oh and beer.

I am a terrible person.

I think I deserve to go to hell for my eating habits alone.

Later, we went over to the Bungalow Club @ Melrose and La Brea for a little USC Law School party thing... It was a very cool place with bungalows (bungaloes?) and lots of little rooms. And mojitos.

Met up with Andrea (yay!) and Janet and Andrea's "friend"/boyfriend, who bears a striking resemblance to Hagrid. Andrea met Meghan and recognized her from the blog as the "drunk flailing girl". I thought that was funny. And a bit embarassing. For Meghan. Hopefully now we will hang out more, since she is in her 3rd year and I am now aware of the fact that she is a blogreader.

Mike Sacks also happened to be there by pure coincidence since he has now moved out of Meghan's place and into a USC Law-Friend's place while he looks for his own. Weird how social circles are in fact circular like that.

In other news, Walter's new pictures are up at www.nousmodels.com.



Yup yup. He's right next to Tyson Beckford.

Wally I'm so proud of you!

I've also uploaded New York Pics.

ANNND...Natasha has put up the sweetest most wonderful photo album on thefacebook.

The Deed is Done...

I feel poor.

Bjoern!

I start work on Monday.

He doesn't need a full-time assistant yet, but he interviewed me because he was flattered that I admired his work, and because he thinks he's at a tipping point where he's going to transition from being a headshot photographer to being a fashion photographer.

Right now he's going to pay me hourly to help him layout his new portfolio to submit around town.

He's the most amazing little man. He's a self-described spazz and talks a mile a minute in a German, but not annoying, accent. He was totally honest with me though, he was like, if you want to be a photographer, be a photographer, don't work as an assistant to a director or something like that when you can just buy a camera and get out there and shoot. I guess that's how he learned it all.

It would be nice to make some money though. And network with billionaires. I don't think it could ever hurt.

HMmmMmMMmMMM....

Wowzers...

Oh...the internet.

After some brilliant internet sleuthing, I have uncovered the identities of my prospective employers as well as pictures from the recent Chanel Party held at their home (complete with models on trains).



The husband is the Donald Trump of Los Angeles. He's a billionaire real-estate developer who just recently donated $10.6 million dollars to USC and attempted to buy the Dodgers last year for $400 million.

The woman is a socialite who is considered a "Great Friend of Chanel" and runs in the same circles as Kathy Hilton.

It's all kind of crazy and exciting.

Surely they can afford to pay me $60,000 measly little dollars.

I'm totally worth it.

Assistant Butler!!!!

Just got back from my meeting/interview with Daniel the Butler.

So the job is working as the Personal Assistant to a major fashion industry player. He was still vague about who exactly she is.

What I do know is this:

1. She travels to fashion shows around the world constantly.
2. Her husband is a major real estate developer.
3. They live in a 27,000 sq. ft house in Beverly Hills.
4. They have a full-time butler, 2 gardeners, cook, 2 maids, and a laudry-woman.
5. She had a "Chanel Meeting" at the house today.
He was very excited about me because of my relationship with Hong Kong (apparently the woman lived there for a while and loves it).
6. She and her husband are constantly voted "Best Dressed in Beverly Hills" in some magazines.
7. They had a recent Chanel Party where models rode around on a train which circles their entire property.

The only drawback is they are very European and do not believe in forming relationships with their "help". There is a clear line between employer and employee.

That's the one thing that bothers me. I'm definitely looking for a mentor.

But...I feel like I will meet TONS of important people which might be useful in the future. And it's a 9 to 5 job, with occasional work on the weekends if they're throwing a big party or something.

And they had absolutely no problem with my salary requirements (which I posted as $40,000 on Monster).

But now that I think they think I'm such a good candidate, I think I'm going to try to create a fake bidding war. I honestly don't really want to work for an unfriendly boss. So I think I'm going to make this fun and see how much I can milk out of them. I already told Daniel I have other interviews this week. I think I'm going to tell him in a couple days that I've been offered a position for $55,000 and see if they're willing to match or beat that. (Plus health benefits, transportation costs, etc.)

Hmmmmmm....

Assistant Butler?

So I got a call tonight from a dude who pulled my resume of monster.com.

His name is Daniel, he has a british accent, and he is the estate manager (butler) for an individual whose identity he cannot reveal (until he meets me tomorrow, I think).

His boss is looking for a personal assistant person. Could be a celebrity. Could be just someone ridiculously wealthy and powerful.

Either way I am kind of excited to see what it's all about. And then tomorrow night I'm meeting with Bjoern.

Took a pretty new headshot for Meghan today. The rainyness really helps.

Well that was stupid.

I woke up at 8 this morning to go to my new "internship" (AKA working in this "photographer's" studio/apartment doing stupid-ass shit.)

Basically I took little stickies and helped him index all his print outs on wedding photography info and photoshopped a couple of shots he's taken recently "for practice".

The man was weird. Had no social skills. And is 30-something living in a rented apartment. And he was scary looking.

At least I'm done for the day. I think I will call him and lie that I've found a job.

Hopefully things go better with Bjoern tomorrow. He seems more successful. But if all the photographers I meet end up being old and poor, I think I'll have to rethink my gameplan.

Self-intervention

I stayed up so late last night writing this cheesy-ass blog entry (and uploading new pics from Christian's Going Away Party). I don't know why. We watched a really good movie, the broken hearts club, and it just made me happy about my life and stuff. And it was a fantastically good day yesterday.

Well I woke up this morning, re-read it, and was mortified by the sappy crappy I had written.

I hit the little delete button.

I really hope nobody saw it.

If you did, and you're thinking I am the biggest loser, well, what kind of loser reads blogs between 3am and 8am?

By the way...

I looked AWESOME.



(Kristy custom tailored the vest.)

Derelicte, My Ass...

You know how it's, like, kind of weird when your misinformed friend Dan asks you to come to a "theme party" with him and a few other friends and you guys get all dressed up in plastic trash bags and paper hats and look absolutely ridiculous and you get to the party and find out it actually ISN'T a theme party?

Well, I do.



Dan had gotten us all excited and we had made our own little costumes for The Derelicte Party.


It WAS a brilliant idea...







But we got there...



And the only thing Derelicte about it was stupid pictures of Zoolander cutout and pasted everywhere.




Of course Dan did not get the memo...and so we just stood there like retards in our literally trashy clothes while everyone else laughed at us.



We had fun anyway though.

Kind of.

Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

So some chick on friendster just asked me to submit my photo and info for the casting of The Fast and the Furious 3.

I have nothing better to do. So I sent my shit in.

Would be weird if something came out of that, eh?

Retards and Range Rovers

I don't get it.

This is like the nineteenth time I've seen it.

A Range Rover with a handicapped license plate/sticker.

How and why in LA do all the handicapped people drive Range Rovers?

I don't get it. I really don't.

I mean...I guess I get it. It's a beautiful beautiful car. But if you're a quadriplegic, who cares what kind of car you drive?

And what about all the drool? Have they no respect for fine italian leather??!?!

Speaking of Range Rovers, the new Range Rover Sport is quite possibly the most beautiful car I've ever seen in my life. Even more beautiful than the actual Range Rover. I think I have a new dream car.



And it's actually somewhat affordable ($55,000).

I mean...

Not affordable by ME...

But by people...

in general...

with jobs...

and handicapped people, apparently.

the wonder of the qus

How wondereful is my lifee?

let su number the wayws.

p[lease.

ok.!

number 1.
meredtith barhnestt. the best. who could ask for a more beautiful wonderful friend. and waitreess. bringin us the BEER. BERR> The gift of LIFE.

Number 2.
The BEER. BEER AT QS. oh god its the best

Numebr 2.
Knowing all the bartenders. TheY ARE so HOT. And they give me drinks. The wonedr of th eq's. hello you could nobt be more wondreulf

Numer 5.

FREE FOOD

from chikens to buffalo sauces to pizza dns americna potatoes. who could ask for more and they are all free. Freee food for healthy fried days. i liek them

tara is callinggn!!! yay.


Ohhhhh!HH! we are both drnunk!!!

i lveo tare. i lwill ad you to the blog. AHDDDDDDDDDDing

AHHHH!H!HH!H!H!H!H!H Bjoern just callied!!!! the potographer!!! He wants to emet me on TUDASY!!! HE WANTS TO EMEEET ME!!!!!

for job?? mebbrye

WHAHHTHTT?!?!??! AN dn ow AC!!! AC TOOO!! calling all laywyerly. everyone ojoins the blogggg!oh it sothe best night evr!!!

i love yuo. ail ove jmy friends. friend soi lveoy you. thank youthankyyouthankyou. tghis life.

Attack of the Friendsters

I used to think that Mike Sacks was the only one... but no. The Southeast Asian friendsters now appear to be after me too!

From: Mercy Melanie
Date: Monday, September 26, 2005 12:41:00
Subject: hi



Message:

How are you? I just see you in User search CA location.

I am from Pillipines. You like?

Can we be friens? Can I add you in my frienslist?

Here's mine..

mercy_melanie@yahoo.com

thanks!

=)

Jobs on the horizon!!!

So I've realized that the best way to look for jobs is to find out where you want to work, and apply without even knowing if they are looking for anyone.

Out of 8 emails I've sent to photographers, I've now received 8 responses.

Even if they are just to say, "sorry, we're not looking for anyone right now". At least they're responses! When you apply to things on craigslist or on anything else, you NEVER get responses. So a big shout out to Ginger for giving me the Headshot Directory from which I've been conducting my recent job search.

Today was an incredible day.

First, I worked out. Then I spent the morning catching up with the wonderful Laura Martin, on a break from the cockroach-infested bathing-in-the-river-fest that is Nicaragua. She's been there a year now and will be there another year, working for her non-profit. It was lovely to talk to her and catch up. Weird how people take such different paths in life and still have so much to talk about and people to make fun of.

Also talked to the wonderful Kathryn Cohen. On IM. But still nice.

I have added them to the cast since hopefully we will see each other in the next month or two.

Anyway. Jobs.

So following my two lovely conversations, I received three emails. One from Mark Atteberry of Idyllic Photography:

Hey Dennis,

Thanks for the inquiry and interest in working with me. Sadly, at the
moment I am not looking for an assistant, I just took a new one on. But
that could change. I have recently started a whole new branch to my
photography business and I am eager to see what happens. I am going to
keep your info on file, if you don't mind. It sounds like you have some
great skills going for you.

Mark Atteberry

One from Juliet of www.theoandjuliet.com (their work looks great, but I don't know about working for another husband/wife team):

Dear Dennis:

thank you for your email.
we are not currently looking for anyone.
however, we were planning for a new office assistant after the new year.
if you haven't found new spot by then. we'd be glad to have an
interview. our needs are more for a personal/ office assistant who
works on the computer/phones for us...rather than a studio/photo
assistant.
you sound well matched to our needs based on your last job..we need our
office overhauled...and have a lot of photo/computer work.
we also need someone who is sharp with great phone skills.
keep us posted after january 5th..if you haven't found a full time job
yet. we are flexible with hours .....

thanks,

juliet

And finally one from Bjoern Kommerell (www.bkheadshots.com), who was actually my first pick!

Are you in LA, Dennis? If yes, let's meet!
Call me @ (323)650-XXXX.

Cheers

Bjoern

I am going to call him right now. Crossing my fingers!!! His work is so amazing.

MegOoOoOoN wins the lottery!

Did I forget to mention that sweet little tambourine-wielding Meghan scored a sweet voiceover deal with a BIG BIG company whose name I cannot mention?



Yeah.

Rumor has it she'll be making in the neighborhood of 40 G's.

Forty-thousand frickin dollars.

That's a lot of kit-kats.

What are you doing here? Go read her blog. It's so much more interesting. The link is just over there to the right.

At least I maybe get to go to Vanity Fair. Surely that's worth 40 G's...

The neighbors upstairs...

So Kristy and I have been plotting to figure out a way to hang out with our hot neighbors upstairs.

We've bumped into them repeatedly. At Q's. At the gym. In the garage. In the elevator.

I know one of them is named Ryan. And coincidentally the person who used to live in our unit was named Ryan. And we still get some of his mail.

So...I came up with a brilliant idea to ask Ryan upstairs if all this mail addressed to Ryan Davis is for him!

But as I type, Kristy has run upstairs to "do laundry". But, she is "out of quarters" and "needs change" and thus must "ask for change".

We'll see if anything happens with that.

Evil scheming Asians we are...

Cool Jobs

Applied to a bunch of neat sounding jobs today:

Jr. Publicist at a boutique marketing/imaging firm in Westwood with fashion and entertainment clients.
- Write press releases, pitch stories, work with clients, design marketing materials. Work on promotional events. Assist Executive Director.

Assistant Art Director at a photo studio
-Assist photographer and production artists to create images for website and catalog. Duties will include styling, setup, prepping images (clipping paths, color correx) in Photoshop. Successful applicant will have some familiarity with the Mac and Photoshop.

Talent assistant
-Well-established, well respected boutique talent and literary agency seeking experienced full-time assistant for head of theatrical. Candidate will deal directly with actors, casting directors and managers on a busy desk with heavy phones. Ideal candidate must be extremely responsible, organized, self disciplined, and able to multi task. Wonderful opportunity for right person.

And now for the crown jewel:

VP at Darren Star Productions is looking for a great assistant … friendly (and smart) boss, willing to mentor, on the Sony lot.

Off to lunch with Emily. Hopefully I'll get a response or two.

Yay!

It's camera time!

Yes. I am in the final stages of being about to buy a brand new digital SLR camera.

After months of contemplation and trepidation, something happened today that I think is going to push me over the edge. The tipping point, if you will.

Chloe emailed me this morning, saying she had an idea for a coffee table book, and she wanted me involved to do the photography. She hasn't told me the idea yet, but I'm sure it is a brilliant idea. And I am very excited at the thought of perhaps having to jet from LA to NY to work on whatever this might be.

So I went to Samy's Camera and Bel Air Camera and Best Buy to compare prices today. Then I came home and messed around some with my reflector and practiced taking pictures of myself.



I think tomorrow might be the day!!!!

Wooohooo!!!

Oh and before I end, I need to throw in a shout out to Jack (the girl). I saw her last night. Jack you are wonderful.

A Day at the Vineyard

Katie picked me up early yesterday morning to drive up to Santa Barbara for a wine tasting at Pete's family vineyard.

Hit a little traffic on the way up, but for the most part the drive was fun and uneventful (see video below).


We arrived and it was beautiful.




Pete had arrived the night before to set everything up. Even the port-o-potties.



About 30 or so people showed up. We had an amazing picnic lunch with wine galore. Sampled several different wines that their vineyard produces, including two unreleased wines (I have no recollection of what they're called, they all tasted red to me). And lunch.

Roast beef sandwich, pasta salad, and COOKIES!!!!

Someone remarked that the whole scene was like something out of an Abercrombie ad (with the exception of my Asian self, of course). Beautiful preppy-looking people. A totally surreal setting completely removed from civilization. And drunken horseplay.






If my life looks like an Abercrombie ad, I'm not complaining.

After lunch, Pete took us on a wild drunken jeep ride through the vineyard.

It was so much fun.



Whee drunk driving.




We drove around and around...



Until we finally pulled up to the top of this awesome hill from which we could view the empire.




After a few more hours, we went into the local town, Solvang, where the vineyard has a tasting room.

The town was kind of Disney-ish and dutch-looking with weird little shops.



We danced around drunkenly.






Way too many salamis later, we went back to the vineyard for camping and drinking and bonfire. And pizza.

The End.

Oh and there was drama.