Addiction

I have a weird and random addiction lately. I've had it for years, but it has intensified over the last 8 months or so.

The Mosley Tribes Enforcer sunglass.



I'm convinced it is the only frame that fits my face.

And I break/lose a pair every other month, so now every time I see a pair of them, I have to buy them.

It's funny that I know THE EXACT DATE this thing started. The day I bought my very first pair. I was in Venice with TL. And it was August 2nd 2007. The frames were GunMetal. And they don't make them anymore.

Which is sad because I also know the exact day I lost the original pair. It was the night the Saints won the Superbowl.

Being able to click back to these little milestones in my life is why it is so much fun having a blog.

Shopping!

I gave myself a raise today to celebrate my new better-than-perfect vision.

And to celebrate that I decided to take the day off and go shopping!!!

We started with a delicious sushi lunch in Venice.



Then I bought a SWEET new pair of sunglasses.



Then we went to H.D. Buttercup to shop for furniture.



Yup. With the right pair of sunglasses, anyone can feel like a supermodel.



(Though only supermodels get their shades for free.)

LASIK

Today is the day that my life will change forever, for better or worse.

I could go blind...

(Please no no no no no no no no)

Or I could be cured of my bespectacledness........FOREVER!



If I go blind I promise I will keep blogging.

(My entryies may look moreio like wthis thpigh,,,,)

Lasik Consultation!

I went in today for my initial consultation with celebrity surgeon Dr. Robert Maloney, exclusive doctor to Extreme Makeover and apparently one of the best Lasik surgeons in the world. (I was referred by both TL (a former patient), and Dr. Grutzmacher (Doug's daddy).)

In the waiting room there was a wall of star testimonials.

One of them was a really cute framed picture of Angelina Jolie and it was signed:

Dr. Maloney!

I CAN SEE!!!!!

You're amazing.

XOXO,
Angie

For some reason, that made me really comfortable.

Anyway...the results...

Aside for having a little dry eye, I passed!

I have adequately thick corneas and my vision hasn't really changed in the past 4 years.

Now I just have to cough up about $6400.

Yoinks.

Sure I could get it cheaper...but they're my eyes, do I really want to fuck around?



P.S.

Soon-to-be doctor friends. These Lasik surgeons make $2500-$6000 for each 8-minute surgery.

Conservatively I would estimate they do one surgery every other hour.

Or shit. How about just one per day.

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO

My goddamn eyes.

Had dinner at Dan and Emily's tonight. We had to shut off the fan in the corner because it was drying out my eyes and they were burning. What the hell is wrong with my eyes? I'm so excited to go back to New York in a week in a half. Yes to see all the people I love. But also to see if the less dry weather will cure me of this annoying dry-eye syndrome. Oh you cannot understand the discomfort and frustration and ugliness-feeling I have been experiencing for the past 6 months.

Imagine feeling your eyelid scrape across your eye every time you blink. It can't be a good thing. Yet my eye doctor says my cornea is fine and intact. It's just very dry. Probably because of the dry climate. I've tried eye steroids, every possible brand of drops, ointments. Nothing works. I don't get it. They say that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a normal eye and 1 being a dead person's tearless eye I am at a 3.

Funny how you just totally take your body's millions of stupid little processes for granted until one little thing starts screwing up.

And honestly the worst part about the whole thing is not the discomfort, but having to wear my glasses every day, EVERYWHERE. Especially when I'm going out. Yes it is totally superficial, but I'm sure all my involuntarily bespectacled brethren feel my pain.

"Hi I'm Dennis. And I wear GLAAAAASSES...."