Top Five Regrets of the Dying

This is from The Guardian - UK, thought it was a good quick nudge for all my overworked, semi-happy buddies out there:

A nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Baby Monkey riding a Pig

I love Parry Gripp songs.

Yay! / Norwood!

I'm back from the land of beads, booze, and fried creamy goodness.

It was a marathon weekend of non-stop fun. Hopefully I'll be able to post pics soon. Swamped with a backlog of work right now.

But I'm back in NYC.

And I was just notified that I've been accepted as a member of Norwood - "a beautiful private club that draws its membership from the creative arts and in addition to basic sustenance aims to provide members with a salon of discovery through talks, tastings and stimulating events as well as being an active sponsor of creative talent in the New York area."

It's like SoHo house, without the douchiness...and the pool.

But I toured the club last month when I went in for my interview and the place was beauuuutiful.

So excited!

They have a strict no-cameras policy, so here are some pics from the internet.

OMGGGGGG

Semmesey had lunch with Archie and Payton and Eli Manning today.

No big deal.

------------------------------------

"Did you take a picture?!?!?!"

"No."

"Why NOT?!??!?!"

"I'm not into that Denny..."

(Katie and I throw our heads back and scream in unison.)

"GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Mardi Gras Night 1

So I landed at the airport and turns out I had been sitting next to Will Ferrell's brother and his wife or something, because as we exited the plane, there was a greeter guy waiting at the gate with a little sign that said "Ferrell". And I happened to walk toward baggage claim near them and overheard the greeter guy say, "we're going to head up to the VIP lounge and Will will come meet you there."

Later I found out that Will Ferrell is the King of the Baccus parade this year. And that he's been filming a movie here in NOLA that happens to star one of my former New Orleans headshot clients, Randall, who will be playing Will as a child!

Neat!




Look at Semmesey and Katie's bar!



Look at all the beads I caught!!!!



Night 1 was fun.

We watched three parades. The Knights of Babylon, the Knights of Chaos, and the Krewe of Muses. There are tons of parades for WEEKS.

Semmesey got to ride on a float for Chaos. It was his second year. (Apparently there are year-long waitlists to get on a float and you have to know someone or be someone.)






Heeeeeere's Semmesey!



Muses is an all-women's parade and it's really pretty.






The ladies throw shoes that they decorate!



In other exciting news, Semmesey and Katie found out that they have been invited to the Rex Ball this year, which is a huge deal.

See, Rex Ball is the big final party of Mardi Gras and very few people get invites. If someone invited you, you'd probably know who it was, because they would tell you.

But Katie and Semmes had no idea who had invited them, which could only mean one thing: That the King of Mardi Gras (who remains top secret every year until the day before) himself had invited them.

Well, we got home, and look what they got in the mail today:

Special medallions from the King of Mardi Gras.



We have a suspicion on who the King might be. But we can't say.

It's prettttty awesome though if it turns out to be who they think it is...

Stay tuned!

NOLA tomorrow

I'm severely backlogged on birthday parties and other events of the past few weeks.

Sorry.

Been suuuuuper busy.

I was supposed to head to New Orleans today.

But I got to the airport and found that my flight was overbooked and so they offered me a $400 travel voucher to give up my seat and to take the morning flight tomorrow + upgrade. It was kiiind of a no-brainer.

They even hooked me up with fancy SUV service home and back to the airport tomorrow.

Delta is THE BEST.

NOLA tomorrow!

MARDI GRAS!!!!!!!!

DOGGIES!

Kimber works for the hotel that hosted all the dogs that were competing in the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show over the weekend.

As such, they created a Hospitality Suite with an outdoor play and poop area for the doggies since the owners of these fancy dogs REFUSE to let their dogs run around on the filthy streets of New York City.

So, I was hired to come in for a few hours to take pictures of doggies!










This...is DYLAN.



Dylan is the most beautifully groomed golden retriever in the world. And so kind and docile.

He is trained to give HUGS!




And this is Lilly.



She's cute and does jumps.



But we LOVE Dylan.




There were also some scary dogs. EEEEEK.

Goodbye Whitney

This video is f*cking incredible.

Whitney Houston singing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" at the American Music Awards in 1994.



What a waste.

I owned and worshipped The Bodyguard soundtrack when I was a wee boy.

I also loved the song from The Preacher's Wife.

We will miss you Whitney.

Downton Abbey Hilarity

This was on SNL the other day.

If you watch Downton Abbey, you will ROFL.

If you don't you'll probably just shrug.

Avenue Q

We saw Avenue Q last night.





My headshot client Lexy is starring in the show and scored us free tickets.

It's really funny. It won the Tony for Best Musical in 2003.

But that was almost 10 years ago now.

And now we have Book of Mormon which takes amazingly offensive hilarity to the next level, so it's hard to compare.

But still it's a really great show. Definitely recommend it.

NBC Family - Brotherhood of Man

Did anyone catch this little thing NBC did just before the Superbowl?

It was pretty awesome.



The song is "Brotherhood of Man" from How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.

Not really sure why they chose such an obscure song, I think Kristen and I were the only ones who saw it. But I still think this video is amazing.

And here's Danny Radcliffe performing the original:

I really hate to say this...

But Downton Abbey is, quite simply, MARVELOUS.

It really is.



It takes two or three episodes I think to kick into high gear, but when you start getting into all the crazy power struggles and character dynamics, it's just mind-blowingly enjoyable.

The Wall Street Journal calls the series, "a pornography of class and hierarchy."

Imagine Gossip Girl at its 1st season best disguised in period clothing, British accents, brilliant writing, and incredible acting.

I watched Season One in one sitting. Yes this is what I have done with my Friday night.

No day but today!

My friend Audrey, who I grew up with and used to have a huge childhood crush on (she was 16 or something when I was 12) is now a really popular mom-blogger.



She's a self-proclaimed "former fashionista raising 4 boys under the age of 5".

We reconnected when I took her headshots several years back.



Raising four boys under five sounds insane, right? It pretty much is. That's why she has a very devoted following.

And over the years her blog has become so widely-read that it's become her full-time job and she travels around to all kinds of blogger events and endorses products (see video at top), shows up on talk shows, and interviews celebrities and gets showered with free stuff from apple sauce to ovens, refrigerators, laundry machines, and dishwashers.

It's nuts. She is and has always been a superhuman. (She was the BEST swimmer in Rhode Island growing up and also swam for Brown I think.)

So it was heartbreaking to come across this update on her blog today.

Basically, a couple of days ago her husband Matt was suddenly feeling stomach pain and thinking he might have appendicitis, they went to the hospital to get it checked out. It turned out to be a tumor on his colon and he underwent emergency surgery to have it checked out. They removed a section of his colon and now they're on test results to come back.

Here's the update video she posted on her blog for all her followers and friends:



Please send some positive thoughts and energy toward Audrey and her family...



Not only does Audrey set a shining example of being able to be extremely successful at whatever it is you want to do while loving every minute of it, but her situation today reminds me to not sweat the small stuff, never to take things for granted, and to go out there and do all the things I want to do TODAY, because who knows what could happen tomorrow.

And while I barely need reminding, since I'm pretty conscious of all this and basically do whatever I want to do anyway, it reminds me that I often need to give some of my friends out there a little nudge to get their asses in gear.

I know more than a couple people who are wasting away in jobs they hate and failing to achieve their full potential and it saddens and upsets me more than anything else in my life.

Do what you love, soak up the time you have with the amazing people that surround you, and live in the moment.

And while we're on the topic of "seizing the day", Newsies is coming to Broadway next month and I'm getting tickets. Let me know if you want to come!

Kristen Bell's Sloth Meltdown

This video went viral today.

If you don't already love Kristen Bell, you will now.

Woohoo! / Giant Party

Just booked my first $4800 wedding. Woohoo!

Also I went to my first TGA event yesterday and was featured on Guest of a Guest.

TGA is the Tall Gay Agenda. It's a group for gay giants. And it was so much fun.





An excerpt from the article:

"And while fans of tall men are always welcome, the shorter set seemed a little ill at ease last night among the towering group. "I should have worn my heels, I feel like I'm lost in a forest," one petite guest quipped, jumping up and down to attract attention."

LOL.

Hair Music Video

Gaga sent this to me yesterday. It's amazing.

Explanation

FLASHBACK: Smileyjohn & Jesse Take NYC: Engagements / Cruise Ship Party!

These are shots all from the last day of SJ and Jesse's last trip to NYC. It was was SO fun.
We woke up the morning after a big night out all giddy and giggly.

SJ wasn't having any of it though, so we left him to go meet up with AnnieAli for her engagement brunch. (Back then she had JUST gotten engaged, crazy it was like a year ago!)

It was a lovely brunch filled with laughter...

And wine...

And the most digusting, nutty, bloody marys ever...

Cafe Gitane is just loooovely though.

That night we stopped by ANOTHER engagement party...this time for Danny & Tevia.

They are now, of course, married!

After this we went home to change into fun clothes for our very own Cruise Ship-themed party. (The Costa Concordia disaster had just happened and we thought we'd do something really tasteless and FUN.)

Smileyjohn dressed as some peasant from steerage.

And of course we treated him as such...

We drank and waited for guests to arrive. But our party was not very well attended...

Although when people DID finally start rolling in, it was of course just the BEST and FUNNEST people ever!

It doesn't take much for us to have a REALLY good time!

What fun!