Everything changes...

From: tara
Date: Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 3:15 PM
Subject: Your blog

is my procrastination. and is not being updated frequently enough to
distract me from the horrors of law school exams.

.....................

Sorry I haven't been updating much as of late. I will get on it.

Lots of stuff has been happening lately. Kind of bummed out and lost the will to blog.

But I know it is important for all you bored office people. And for my own self-reflection...

So here we go.

.........................

Brianne and Alex moved to San Francisco this weekend. (Alex will be working for YouTube.)

They are going to have a wonderful wonderful life.

We had a little farewell party at the Gas Lite to see them off.







I think the Gas Lite is done and it's time for it to be retired. The regulars are always there and annoying and gross. They hogged the stage. None of us sang.

Also I scratched my car on a brick wall while dumbass-ed-ly pulling into a non-parking spot.



Total bummer.

............................

Los Angeles is the city people go to and figure out what they want to do with their lives.

It is the perfect place for it.

There's so much opportunity. So much possibility. And everything can change overnight.

Some people get launched into the stratosphere. Some people come. Figure themselves out. And then move on.

Countless people have come and gone.

Poopshid was the first... Then Felix... Goony... TL... Big willie style... Now Bralex...

And Smershy......oh Smershy...

.........................

A lot has changed lately.

And I've been thinking a lot. About life. Where I am. And where I'm going.

Maybe this is quarterlife #2.

I had a mini-quarterlife crisis a few years back at the end of '05. If you've been on this ride with me for a while, you may remember. The Details article I think touched upon it.

Here I am. Two and a half years after my first quarter-life crisis.

I call myself a "professional" photographer and I can back that up with a pretty cool portfolio. It happened faster than I expected.

I work from anywhere. Make a decent amount of money. And work 3 or 4 hours a day. If that.

I get to travel. See my friends near and far. And I have the stress level of a happy cow in a field on a warm day.

It's awesome and I'm definitely not complaining. And shouldn't be. I know.

But as anyone who's ever gotten a raise or promotion will tell you, you adjust to your new and improved circumstances quickly. There's always more you can be doing. More you can be making. Other things to see, do, accomplish.

I live in LA and I'm part of this insane world of privileged, over-ambitious, over-educated people. We're never satisfied and we're not going to stop even when we've achieved world domination. We've been exposed to the world and there is no limit to what we can accomplish. And it is terrifying when you feel like you're not doing enough with what you've been blessed with and you're not achieving your full potential.

People are heading off to bigger and better jobs. Taking off for business school. Becoming doctors/lawyers. Getting engaged and married. And I've got my routine going, but I feel myself plateau-ing.

So that's the angst I'm feeling right now.

As I look around me and see everyone move upward and onward... I feel like it's time to step up my game.

So what I've been thinking these past few days is my move into fashion photography.

I've never been formally trained. And sometimes I feel like a hack. Even though I know my work is decent.

The next level...

I want to be Annie Leibovitz... Or Mario Testino... Or David LaChappelle...but without the alleged sketchiness. (Ask Oliver.)

I want to spend the summer in NYC. Take studio lighting and fashion photography classes.

And keep doing the headshot gigs to pay for all of it. (I seem to get much more business on the east coast.)

I'm eternally torn between LA and New York.

The grass is always greener.

...................

I know whatever I decide will be the right decision.

But right now, it's kind of bumming me out and I'm scared and confused.

...also it is REALLY REALLY hot right now.

I prefer snow.

Goodbye old friend...

Ten years ago my dad brought me to a store.

This store sold cars.

Reliable, decent-looking (boring-looking, yes) Japanese cars.

In my hand I clutched my shiny new Rhode Island Driver's License.

We walked through the lot together through rows and rows of hundreds of cars...but only one stood out.

It was the same model that Dr. Spencer (Jimmy Coleman's radiologist step-dad) used to drive.

I had ridden in that car so many times. And when I saw it on that lot in Wellesley, Massachusetts, I just knew it was the one I wanted.

It was the nicest car on that lot.

It evoked images of success, stability, and Jimmy Coleman's monstrous mansion of a house.

And because I had gotten all "A"'s in school, dad said I could have it.

................................

I will always remember the day I drove it past the BHS tennis courts that very first time and the way my friends' jaws dropped as they came over to check out my new ride.

It was one of the proudest moments of my entire life.

................................

Flash forward ten years to today.

Today I donated my 1995 Toyota Avalon** to Cars 4 Causes.

Partly, yes, because my wonderful friend Tunji borrowed him and drove him so recklessly that he was going to require a ridiculous amount of money and headache to repair and sell. But also because I knew deep down it was the right thing to do.

It's for the best.

Hopefully some good karma comes out of it.

(Although...I think hoping for karma might negate the karma.)

*shrug*



Goodbye old friend. We have been on so many adventures.














I will forever hold you in my heart.




The End.

** "It's not a fucking Camry!"
(AC knows my pain...)

Katie's Going Away Party

So Smershy quit her job and is going on a big adventure in South America.

You'll be able to read about her adventures here.

........................

All our favorites, old and new, came to wish her well.







Not all happily...



Doug, Olly, Sumner, and I compared manly hand-scars.




AlexRose (who hosted the party) put up some sweet signage.






And everyone had fun.





Oh, also...there was a baby.














And I gave Chris and Doug the sweet shirts I got them from the Asia...




Afterwards we got Chinese food at Mao's.



Goodbye my love. We will miss you so much.



:-(