Peek-a-boo!!!! I see you!!!! (And I really wish I didn't...)

I just paid a surprise visit to my buddy's apartment to see if he would like to accompany me to the store to pick up some Strawberry Blonde beers that we needed to replace because we drank some of Kristy's.

I knocked.

No answer.

Knocked again.

I figured he must be sleeping or something. So I turned around to leave.

As I did this, my lovely friend opened his door, peeked his head out, realized it was me, and stepped into the hall.

"Hey! What's up?" he asked, totally normal.

I looked down. And there it was.

A happy little boner peeking out of his hundred-dollar jeans.

In his rush to answer the door, he had apparently forgotten to zip his fly.

I quickly regained eye-contact and proceeded to have the retard equivalent of a normal conversation hoping that he hadn't noticed that I had noticed. (And also hoping that he didn't realize that his little buddy was poking out and trying to awkwardly squoosh it back in with me standing there...)

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO IN SUCH A SITUATION?!?!?!?!?

"Hey....um.....I....uh....want to...uh....the grocery store? To...get...uh....blonde beer?"

"Nah...I gotta finish up some stuff.... but thanks."

"Oh...uh...ok. What are you doing....tonight?"

"I dunno....did you...finish your tax return?"

"Yes. OK see you later bye."

I left awkwardly.

Came back home.

And called everyone I know.