Tatyana's 30th Birthday!

Tatyana celebrated her 30th birthday at Zune LA on Saturday night. It was my first big late-night outing in two and half months.

Zune is the event space which supposedly helps to promote the Zune player, Microsoft's response to the iPod. My dad has one, they're actually kind of cool.

Last year, the party was sponsored by random green drink.

This year, the party was sponsored by Hennessy.

I think Hennessy is gross.

Annie says I'm racist.




It was a very well put-together event. Reminded me a lot of the Ne-Yo/Leona Lewis event with all the semi-yummy drinks, scrumptious snacky-foods, beautiful black people, and pseudo-celebs like Quddus and Twista and one of the Danity Kane girls.

Annie looked gorgeous.



And Taty was sporting a baby blue sexydress.



Only a few of us were able to enjoy the party though.



When Rach, Rob, and Chrispy literally dropped us off to find parking, there was no line and we made our way inside hassle-free... but by the time ten minutes had passed, the entrance was swarmed and the place had filled to capacity.



They left. But we soon followed.

It was almost impossible for me to maneuver around the crowded party on crutches. And on top of that, I was attempting to hold a drink, eat hors d'oeuvres, and snap photos. These things you just take for granted. Oh how I can't wait to be uncrippled.

After about 20 minutes of standing, my good foot felt like it was going to break off, and WifeKelli had a migraine HusbandMatt had to go home to attend to.

We peaced out before 112 even got a chance to sing "Happy Birthday".

I hear it was cool though.



I was home by 10pm, mourning my disability with a bucket of slow-churned ice cream.



Happy 30th Tatyana!



(I jacked this pic off wireimage.com because I thought it looked pretty.)

Lazy Sunday Eatfest/He's Just Not That Into You

The day started with DimSum at VIP Harbor in West LA.

Dumplings galore.




(Naia please never make that face again. I photoshopped it and still it terrifies me. )

Oh sweet succulent dumplings...



We stuffed our faces hardcore.

...................................

From there we went to visit Danny who was tending bar at Century City.





Eugeula met up with us. They were very excited to see He's Just Not That Into You.



Danny made us extra to-go bloody mary drinks for the movie.

Epic.



So yeah, we went to He's Just Not That Into You.

Out of all of us, I think Eugene was the most excited to see it. That was cute.

The movie is the most star-studded thing since Ocean's Eleven.



It got a bunch of bad reviews, so I had low expectations, and was very pleasantly surprised when I started enjoying the movie very very much.

It's really cute. Don't expect to be blown away. There are definitely some annoying main characters (one in particular) who make you want to stick a gun in our mouth. But for the most part, everyone does a pretty decent job. Jen Aniston is adorable as usual. Ben Affleck is kind of dreamy. And it's really neat to see Jennifer Connelly in a neurotic, semi-comedic role.

You can't believe everything critics say. I think those Hollywood-types tend to be a little jaded. (Naia was totally lamesauce and walked out after 20 minutes.)

And didn't Gran Torino get a buttload of praise? That movie was absolute rubbish.

So... I would recommend the movie to anyone who likes a Love Actually/Bridget Jones-type of movie.

And be prepared to suspend disbelief that some of these amazingly gorgeous people have issues finding people to date/have sex with them.

...................................

Following the movie, we went downtown to Wurstkuche, an awesome little German beer-hall/sausage restaurant.

IT WAS AMAZING.





I had the Rattlesnake/Rabbit with Jalepeno sausage.

Heavenly.



And there was a delicious home-made red velvet cake which was made for Angela's friend's boyfriend's 26th birthday.




I knew it was going to be a good day.

IT'S GOING TO BE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!

Not sure why. Just being optimistic.



Update: OOoh! I just talked to Naia and we're going to DimSum. See, I knew this day would be epic.

TUNA MELTS!

Danny is moving out next week to trot around some South American countries.

It makes me so sad.

One of the wonderful things about living with Danny is that he likes to make midnight snacks. And they're not just snacks. No. They are epic munchstrosities.

Here we demonstrate last night's tuna melt.

Ingredients:

Canned Tuna.



Light Mayonnaise. (You can be an eater without becoming an obese.)



Olives. Or celery. Or both.



Onion. (Careful. They can send you to supercryingtown.)



Chop up all ingredients. (Leave the onions for sautee-ing.)



Smash fishes and vegetables together with the fatcream.



Imbue with twinky asian giggling.



Oh...also...you should be drunk.



Another thing to miss about Danny...

Bartending skillz!






After onions have been grilled, stack breads in a pan, and pile up the ingredients and spread cheese everywhere.



Grill grill grill. Melt melt melt.

Enjoy your delicious midnight snack!



Danny we will miss you!

T-31 Days

One more month until I get to see the doctor again to see if ultrasound therapy has worked and maybe I am healed and get to start the fun fun process of learning how to walk again.

My calf is completely gelatinized.

Dr. Dan touched it the other day and giggled. SO unprofessional. No idea how he thinks he's going to make a good doctor.

Most days I'm fine and have a visitor or two and some way of keeping myself entertained or occupied.

But there will be a couple minutes here and there where can't control myself and I just have to spontaneously scream at the top of my lungs (see: David after the dentist) and rip out all my hair.



I was going to wait until I get back to NYC to go to my $7 place.

But I think I might have to cave soon and get a Supercut.

Oh god.

Somebody kill me.

Tom Cruise is a Jackass

Tom Cruise's stupidity almost caused an international incident while he was in Brazil promoting his latest movie Valkyrie. Page Six reports:

Cruise tried to ingratiate himself to reporters by saying hola (hello) and gracias (thanks), not realizing that the language of Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish. According to Glamurama.com, Cruise also said he fell in love with Brazil watching movies about samba and tango, unaware that tango is an Argentine dance.

Realizing he'd made a faux pas, Tom Cruise quickly relied on his OT training to diffuse the situation. He then asked for his favorite Brazilian dish, General Tso's Chicken.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

I didn't love the movie, but I love Michael Cera.

And watching these two run around New York City all night definitely made me want to do the same...on my nonexistent working foot.

Will Work For Food

Danny's friend Bryce is somewhat new to LA and needed some photos to send around to agencies etc in hopes of finding work.

Being out of commission and unable to walk, I'm a little hesitant to take on any new clients since my shooting options are so limited. I can take pictures in my apartment...or in my apartment. No crazy lighting setups. No neato backgrounds.

He said that was fine.

So we took some pictures in my apartment.



And then he made a tofu lasagna.

........................

Now when I first heard "tofu lasagna", I gagged a little.

Me like meat.

Me no like tofu.

But me no want to be rude. So me eat a slice.

...And it was truly amazing. Hands-down the best meat-free meal I've ever had in my life.

He had hand-squeezed all the nasty tofu juice out of the tofu and then blended what was left with ricotta cheese. It tasted like ricotta cheese! And it was healthy!

Really really delicious.



Thank you Bryce!

Handicapped Haiku

Sit in my wheelchair!

You will be the perfect height.

To talk...to a crotch.

Deerfields/Browns

Chloe and Andy had a week off and are driving through California (SD to SF) so they stopped overnight in LA.

We had delicious sushi dinner at Itacho on Beverly.



Ten years ago I never would have imagined I'd be having dinner with this group.

After all, Rob and Andy were Deerfield sports gods and I was just the giant awkward secretgay that hung out with blacks and gave really awesome powerpoint presentations at school meeting.



I am excited for Rob and Rachel's wedding! Hopefully by then I will have my dancing foot back.

David after the dentist

Diana sent me this hilarious video of a little kid all high on the good legal stuff after leaving the dentist's office.

This video has been making the internet rounds, because kids are funny! And they are magic! But honestly, I think this is most of us every weekend. How many times have you said to yourself "Is this real life?" and "Is this going to be forever?" This kid is inside my brain.

Funnily awful driving

My dad sent me this. Usually my parents send me awful fwds. But this actually had me LOLing. So here ya go. It's set to the original hamster dance song. Awesome!

Inspirational new roll model

Thank you Jay for finding this.

Transcontinental Ankle Buddies!!!

Betsy, my ankle buddy, has finally returned to West Hollywood!

She is now able to walk multiple blocks and even run for a few feet.

I am so jealous.

We celebrated with drinks at St. Felix.



(Yes I am rocking the 'stache and chin pubes again. Maybe I will shower and shave today. Mayyyybe.)

I have finally caved and started calling St. Felix by its real name. My hope that Fubar Jay would revert to calling it Felix (its original name) has died. It's St. Felix for good.

Best bloody marys ever.

Happy Superbowl!

Today is the Superbowl.

I will watch.

But that doesn't mean I will care.

I am not a Math Asian, and I am definitely not a Sports Asian.

I do, however, always like to see who is singing the National Anthem.

My favorite national anthem thus far was sung by Mariah Carey in 2002. It marked her comeback from the awfulness that was Glitter.

You can fast forward to :30.



Pretty good, eh?

I can't wait until the day David Archuleta gets tapped to do it. Oh god. I will throw a party. And do backflips. (Carefully, of course.)

Bone Stimulato

So I finally got me my Exogen Bone Healing System.

It's like a little ankle bracelet that shoots sound into my bones.

ULTRA sound.

Oh god I hope this works.

My ankle still gets a little swollen when I'm in a sitting position, but overall I think my foot is starting to look like a normal human foot.



5 more weeks until I get to see the doctor again.

Please please please let me heal.

The doctor suggested I get a RollerAid to move around.



I said eff that. I'll wear the striped sweater, but I'm not going to wheel around in a friggin' KNEE-SCOOTER.

Please please please give me use of my foot again.

I am dying to dance to the new Kelly Clarkson song.

And bopping around in my wheelchair like an oversized beanie baby doesn't count.