As I've mentioned before...this adventure DID NOT end well. Smileyjohn stormed off and flew home and didn't speak to me/acted weird for months. But in retrospect it makes for kiiiind of a funny story.
I flew to LA last year around this time to escort Jesse and SJ to NYC. By "escort" I mean "get-them-drunk-in-the-Delta-lounge" and attempting to get them upgraded (but failing).
We loves bloody marys!
Our flight was a breeze.
We landed and were picked up by a nice Driver Asian in a Lexus SUV.
P.S., the incredible car service I use is called Good Luck Car Service / Lucky Express. Their HQ is around the corner from my apartment, they have a fleet of town cars and SUVs and Lexuses, and they only charge $35 to go to and from JFK (that's $20 cheaper than a cab). 212-274-0002. You're welcome.
P.P.S. Be prepared, it's a Chinese company and they tend to be rude/yell on the phone and barely speak English. (If the operator lady doesn't understand you or (more likely) vice versa, and you say, "excuse me" more than once, she'll just hang up.)
Rude... but worth it!
So we landed in NYC and immediately went to Boiler Room.
Got pretty wasted and ended up at the Meatball Shop in front of a plate of Buffalo Chicken Meatballs covered in buffalo sauce and blue cheese.
Maybe it wasn't their greatest "Meatball Special" idea ever....
Jesse took a bite of his and SPIT IT ON THE FLOOR.
"That was DISGUSTING!!!! Yuck!!!!" (head shake) "YUCK!!!"
I was mortified and when the bartender saw this happen, he asked us to leave.
I apologized and apologized and gave the bartender an extra $20 and begged him not to ban me for life.
Being asked to leave The Meatball Shop is like getting kicked out of church!!!! It's WORSE.
Humiliating! Heartbreaking! Just-plain-awful!
These boys just did not understand.
See Jesse's phone sitting on the counter there above?
Well he walked out without it. And when we were two blocks away and he realized it was missing, he went back to get it, and it was GONE. (Pretty sure the bartender destroyed it.)
The next morning was rough. Thankfully there are sandwiches for this type of thing.
We decided to do some sightseeing.
So we went to the Empire State Building...
Thor (who runs the Oslo Freedom Forum, among other things) has his NY offices in the Empire State building. So I called up one of his helpers and he came down, walked us past the throngs of angry waiting tourists, and had us up on the on the observation deck within minutes.
And we only had to pay $11. Yay!
When we got there we were above the cloud line, so there was zero visibility.
We rented little info guide thingys to teach us all about the tower.
It was frickin windy.
And Smileyjohn is afraid of heights, so he stayed inside.
Eventually the clouds passed. Pretty good view from up there.
Later that evening we met up with Krissy and Laura and Jesse's friend Makos who likes to buy drinks and burgers for everyone.
Makos also hooked us up with tickets for Spiderman!
The show was a disaster. HORRIBLE. It is by far the biggest mess I have ever seen on Broadway.
Of course, this was a year ago. Since then it's been revamped...but I hear it's still monkyturds.
We went out for some drinks. It wasn't crazy.
The next morning we the hit the MoMa.
There was this performance piece which featureda dancer and all she did was twirl back and forth. It was silly. We started doing it everywhere we went.
We saw some art.
Smileyjohn thought it'd be funny to start sticking gum on some priceless canvases.
LOL we LOVES sticking gum on million dollar paintings!
Jesse found his twin again.
Some of the "art" in the MoMa is just ridiculous. Here, someone threw down some old window-blinds, roped it off, and called it an "exhibit".
Another exhibit...
We stopped by St. Patricks to repent.
Ohhh and then that brings us to Saturday night where Smileyjohn went to have dinner with an old friend and was supposed to meet back up with us around 8pm to go out for one last night out.
Of course he was a couple hours late and we had started drinking...and twirling...
...and had been texting SJ to check up on his ETA....
"where are you SJ?"
(no response)
turned into
"where the f are you smileyjohn!?!?!? get back here!"
(no response)
Eventually it became clear that he was totally ignoring me while occasionally texting Jesse back and saying he was on his way back, but very obviously was not, since there was no sign of him anywhere.
Around midnight (four hours after he was supposed to have returned to play with us) we had already gone to the bar, and this text exchange occurred...
LOL. Oops.
So I can be pretty bridezilla when I've planned out a weekend of fun and things don't go according to plan.
Smileyjohn booked a completely separate flight home from the one I had originally booked for him. I apologized and apologized but he didn't speak to me for months.
I learned my lesson and am trying to be better.
Telling someone to die is never helpful. (Though it IS funny!)
We mourned the loss of Smileyjohn with burgers and brunch.
The End.
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