Then ate pizza on Felix's balcony one final time.
And bid it farewell. (Felly has now moved in with Connie.)
Goodbye wonderful balcony!
We then powernapped. Woke up.
And pregamed while singing along to Beauty and the Beast. Again.
Afterwards we went to Zameer's to pregame some more.
And then headed over to Hiro. (Which is now AWFUL and charges $10 cover.)
Stayed for literally half an hour and then hightailed it to Greenhouse where a MUCH better time was waiting to be had.
Trannies galore!
After several cocktails and rounds of shots, Jesse started snapping his jockstrap at people. (He was wearing his lucky orange jockstrap, which he snaps around as like a mating call.)
Soon random strangers were coming up to him and snapping it.
Followed by the trannies.
Followed by Zameer basically trying to slingshot him across the room.
Girl was a mess!
We left him for a few minutes and came back to find this beast with its paws all over him.
A BEAST I tell you!
So yes. Jesse is in the corner getting his jockstrap snapped by all these strangers and trannies. Eventually I grabbed him and escorted him across the room away from him doing something he might potentially regret.
But then I start dancing with this really adorable boy. And out of nowhere, Jesse comes and grabs him and basically rape-kisses him.
I'm infuriated. I shove him really hard and yell, "JESSE! WHAT. THE. F*CK!?!?! I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN IN MY LIFE!!!!"
He is, of course, incoherent. And even after I reclaim my boy, he continues to lurk.
I turn to Smileyjohn, shouting, "Smileyjohn! Watch Jesse! This boy is MINE!"
So basically I'm dancing with this boy and Smileyjohn is holding wastedface Jesse back by his hoodie. And eventually we run off. And Jesse literally chases us like some obnoxious child on a playground rape-kiss mission. (I once was that child, maybe this is my karmic payback.)
Oh my god I was so mad.
On top of all this Jesse would repeatedly scream, "LET'S GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME!" and when we would finally say, "Fine, we're leaving!" he would say, "NO! I WANNA STAY!"
Ohhhh my godddd what a nightmare.
Finally the BEAST reappeared and I had never been so happy to see such a yucky person in my life. I grabbed his hand and placed it in Jesse's and said "BEAST! Jesse! GO!" And then my problem was solved. For the next few minutes.
Eventually Jesse started screaming to go home again so we went home and he started incoherently Grindring while insisting that we watch more Beauty and the Beast. He was almost unconscious but still mumbling along to the opening song "Belle" (you know, the one that goes "I need! Six eggs! That's too expensive! I waaaant much more than this provinnnnncial liiiiife!!!!!") and I literally started my stopwatch and timed how long it would take for him to be out cold.
It took less than three minutes.
We all laughed about it in the morning.
And then the boys left and headed back to LA.
.....................................................
Best long weekend ever! I love you guys SO MUCH!
More adventures await! I know it!
