UNITED AIRLINES IS THE WORST AIRLINE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
I fly them because they offer cheapo fares, but god they are SO awful.
So get this. I'm on my way to San Francisco this morning. I get to the check in two hours early and ask for an exit row seat.
Usually with other airlines they just give it to me. No problem. I'm tall. I clearly am not going to fit in a normal seat. They pity me. Whatever.
Yesterday I asked for an exit row and the gate agent said, "Sorry. We reserve these seats for 'upselling'. If you want to sit there it will be an extra $14."
It is ridiculous and I refuse to pay, yes because I'm cheap, but also because of the principle of having to pay for something that I would normally get for free.
So I'm like fine. It looks like a pretty empty flight. I'll just sit in a row that is almost empty so that I can spread out.
The plane boards.
They close the door. The exit row is available.
YES!!!!
I grab my stuff and move up a row.
Immediately the big gay flight attendant with a big gay attitude on a big gay power trip comes up to me and says, "I'm sorry sir. The exit row is reserved for 'upselling'. If you sit there, you have to pay an extra $14."
I blinked. Hard.
"Are you serious? There's nobody else sitting here!!!"
At this point the fucker turned into a bitchy automaton, saying, "I'm sorry sir. It is United Airlines' policy to reserve exit row seats for upselling. You are welcome to take up the issue with a customer service representative after your flight. But if you wish to sit here, it will be $14. Now please return to your seat."
"I DON'T FUCKING FIT IN THE REGULAR SEATS!!!!"
(Below is what my legs look like squashed in a regular coach seat.)
He just stared at me with a smug little grin with his hands on his hips and repeated, "Sir. Please return to your seat."
What a fuck fuck fuckitty fucker...
I went back to my seat.
..............
INFURIATING.
..............
I'm writing a strongly worded letter to customer service and if I don't get a free flight out of it I'm going to start firebombing.
That's fugging hilarious. At least your pain resulted in a laugh for me. Perhaps you should have just moaned until the other passengers started complaining, and then you could explain that your knees hurt so much that you can't withold your agony.
ReplyDeleteOr you could use that airline policy bullshit against them. I'm allergic to nuts, so technically when I fly the airline is not allowed to serve anyone peanuts in the rows anywhere near me. Wouldn't it suck for them if you were allergic and they had to find new snacks for everyone...
Write that letter man, and let us know what happens! Years ago I wrote a letter to Continental airlines about a missing bag and they gave me a free one-way ticket. Are you a frequent flyer with United? That will help if you are---they like to keep their "special customers" happy, usually. And that flight attendant? What a dick!
ReplyDeleteYou should have kicked him.f
ReplyDelete