1-Year Ankle-versary

I forgot to mention that two days ago was the one-year anniversary of my breaking my ankle.

The ball of my foot still bugs me a bit when I walk because I still have a limited range of motion...but I'm so grateful to at least be able to walk.

Eeek. I still cringe re-living the experience in my mind.

New Gym

So back in November I was in the best shape I'd been in in like 20 years. Which is not to say I was in great shape, but I was definitely in good shape relative to the rest of my life.

Everywhere I went friends and families commented on my slimness and it was the greatest feeling in the world.

Then I broke my ankle.

And then I wasn't allowed to walk for 4 months.

And still I can't walk all that well.

But. I have my life back, for the most part.

I do everything I want to. Except run. And jump. But that's fine. I'm mobile. Yay.

So I booked my tickets to go to Southern Decadence in New Orleans the first week of September.

And today I went with Felly and joined our neighborhood gym - Dolphin Fitness. It is this terrifying basement gym where I'm pretty sure serial killers, ex-convicts, and rapists work out.



Only half the people there speak English. The majority of them are terrifying and you definitely would not want to be stuck on a dark and empty street with them.

(We did, however, spot Padma Lakshmi on the elliptical today, trying to workout unnoticed since most serial rapists probably do not watch Top Chef...)

Also, I went to wash my hands and a cockroach was running around in the sink. A small one, yes, but a cockroach nonetheless.

But it was a good deal for what I need right now. Not an EPIC deal. But an OK deal. For NYC. And I get to work out with my Felixfriend!

New Clownshoes!

So lately the ball of my foot has been bugging me. Maybe it's the amount of walking I do in NYC...and the fact that my reconfigured ankle exerts more pressure on parts of my foot that weren't used to bearing so much weight.

Hmmmm...don't know. Going to have to see the doc about that.

In the meantime I visited the New Balance store the other day and purchased the largest, most expensive pair of sneakers I've ever owned. (I gotta wear two sizes larger now that I have a cankle-foot.)

Yay clownfeet!

Another day, another ankle

Thomas's daddy broke his ankle this weekend while skydiving for his 60th birthday.



Supersadnessface!



Send ankle healing thoughts in the direction of Hartford!

Ankular update: No More Doctor

Ok so this is weird. I went to doctor the other day, planning to get new x-rays to see if my bone had fused yet. (As of 6 weeks ago it was still not healed on the xray but he gave me the ok to start weight-bearing.) The doc basically walked in. Watched me stand on one foot and walk around a little and said I don’t need xrays because it wouldn't change what he would do. In his words, "it’s only the symptoms that matter.”

I seem to be walking ok without too much pain, though I’m still limping a lot, and, as Felix points out, look like a zombie if I extend my arms, but the doc says unless I’m experiencing more pain, there’s no need to get xrays or to see him ever again.

He wished me luck, congratulated me, and set me free.

I don’t know how I feel about it. I know that I’m definitely not fully healed yet. Maybe he just figured he’s not going to make much money off me and since he won’t be operating or anything he doesn’t want to waste his time seeing me?

I really want xrays. I really want proof that I'm healed. If I ever heal.

I think I’m going to make an appointment for when I go back east to see the doc I was seeing in Rhode Island, and maybe also possibly try to see my operating surgeon (even though he just operated on me and never saw me for any follow-ups.)

I am grateful just to be able to limp around.

And ride my bike.

I can go so fast on my bike.

I rule.

Britney Spears @ Sofitel

Was riding by the Sofitel on my bike (yes, I can ride my bike now!) on my way back from lunch with Kristy and was immediately filled with glee when I saw Britney's tour buses parked outside the hotel.





-- Post From My iPhone

Look No Hands!

Still can't go down without doing the double-step, so building please don't burn down just yet.

I walked today!!!!!!

I don't know what possessed me, but my headshot client rang my buzzer this morning and I decided to try walking across the room without the support of my crutches.

I managed to limp in my storm-trooper boot around my apartment!

So...I guess that counts as free-weight-bearing! Finally!

I can walk!

Still going to use my crutches for a while to be safe. But yay. It's going to be a good week.

.............

Oh, and then Lady Di and her new beau brought me China Food in exchange for sexy lawyer pictures.

Ankle Update: 6 weeks on bone stimulator..... 4 months post-injury......BROKEN FOREVER

Just got back from the doctor...

Got new xrays...



And still no sign of healing.

Yup.

X-rays still look the same.

Doctor says it might be a fibrous union, where the bone is joined together by fibrous material which doesn't show up on the xray. Who knows. He says I could get an MRI or Cat Scan or something to see in more detail if it's healed but he doesn't think it's worth exposing myself to the radiation when his prognosis is going to be the same.

So...he gave me the go ahead to start weight-bearing as tolerated.

I guess that's progress.

Still would like to know that the bone is healed...

But I guess now I can get to start trying to walk.

Yay.

T-minus 11 hours

It's 2:30 am.

I can't sleep.**

I'm nervous.

Finally heading to the doctor in 11ish hours for my new X-rays.

I really hope my bone stimulator has worked.

Oh god.

If my leg is still broken after almost four months I don't know what I will do.

Please sweet baby jesus let my leg be healed.

** - Actually the real reason I'm still awake is because I'm hooked on this Boggle-type game called Word-Fu which I downloaded on my iPhone which is (voice shifts up an octave) AWWWWESOME.

Bone Stimulato

Many of you have been asking what this Supersexy Ultrasound Bone Stimulating device is that I keep speaking of.

It sounds like a giant machine that you hook up. But it's actually surprisingly small.

I get a little velcro ankle bracelet that I strap snugly to my little ankle at approximately where the site of the bone break is.



Then i take some "coupling gel"...

(I know. That sounds incredibly sexy too. God, could they not think of better names for these products?)



Lube up the electrode or whatever they call the little piece that transmits the ultrasound waves to my body.



Insert it in the hole so that it makes contact with my skin. (The gel serves as a conductor for the ultrasound...like when you drop your hairdryer in the tub and water conducts the electricity to fry your brain.)



And then I just press the yellow button and turn on the machine.



That's it, it's a magical little machine the size of my hand.

And somehow it tells my bone heal already.

Guess we'll see if it worked in T-3 weeks and one day.

T-31 Days

One more month until I get to see the doctor again to see if ultrasound therapy has worked and maybe I am healed and get to start the fun fun process of learning how to walk again.

My calf is completely gelatinized.

Dr. Dan touched it the other day and giggled. SO unprofessional. No idea how he thinks he's going to make a good doctor.

Most days I'm fine and have a visitor or two and some way of keeping myself entertained or occupied.

But there will be a couple minutes here and there where can't control myself and I just have to spontaneously scream at the top of my lungs (see: David after the dentist) and rip out all my hair.



I was going to wait until I get back to NYC to go to my $7 place.

But I think I might have to cave soon and get a Supercut.

Oh god.

Somebody kill me.

Bone Stimulato

So I finally got me my Exogen Bone Healing System.

It's like a little ankle bracelet that shoots sound into my bones.

ULTRA sound.

Oh god I hope this works.

My ankle still gets a little swollen when I'm in a sitting position, but overall I think my foot is starting to look like a normal human foot.



5 more weeks until I get to see the doctor again.

Please please please let me heal.

The doctor suggested I get a RollerAid to move around.



I said eff that. I'll wear the striped sweater, but I'm not going to wheel around in a friggin' KNEE-SCOOTER.

Please please please give me use of my foot again.

I am dying to dance to the new Kelly Clarkson song.

And bopping around in my wheelchair like an oversized beanie baby doesn't count.

6 MORE WEEKS

of NO WEIGHT BEARING.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Just came back from the new ortho. That's what he told me. His x-ray machine is not made of wood. I trust him a little more.

Kill me kill me KILLLLLLLMEEEEEEE

.........

Actually I'm totally fine with it.

Got a project I'm working on.

And I'm day-trading.

Keepin' busy.

Keepin' busy.

.........

I need a hug.

Chris is funny

Me:
not really sure who would wanna hook up with a cripple...
Chris: i would
new experiences are fun
and you have to be gentle
that's kind of cool

Sent at 9:48 PM on Sunday

Me: hahahahaha

Thank you for the halfie book Chris. I ruv u.

Fun with doctors

So the other day when I went for my first follow-up ankle appointment in California, I didn't mention it but the guy's office somewhat concerned me. All the cabinetry and stuff seemed kind of old-school. Like it was from the 80s. And the x-ray machine...was made of wood.

Seriously.

I was like..."are we sure this is safe?"

Well not really made of wood. But it was definitely an older model of x-ray machine. And the x-ray room doubled as a filing room with all exposed wooden cabinets with thousands and thousands of patient files just sitting there staring at you while you're waiting to get your foot/brain zapped with questionably-safe radiation.

And while most places now digitize your x-rays for easy display on a computer monitor, this doc was still using film.

I was already feeling a little uneasy about the whole situation and my whole lack of healing when I received an email from Megoon's wonderful mommy, a pro nurse, who advised me to seek a second opinion and to get the bone stimulator ASAP.

On top of this I received a random email last night from a fellow ankle blogger who referred me his amazing orthopedic surgeon who also just happens to be the Director of the Foot and Ankle Center at Cedars-Sinai which is just a few blocks from my apartment. God bless the internets.

Also, the new doc is well-educated and a multi-Ivy grad, which is comforting.

I headed over to Santa Monica, grabbed my xrays and reports from the other doctor and am seeing this new doctor Tuesday.

Yay!

Still broken, so broken.

Went to my new orthopedic surgeon yesterday.

Did some x-rays.

THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME.

MY BONES HAVE NOT HEALED.



Doctor says that it may be because the break is so jagged and unusual.

So I still cannot put weight on my foot and am confined at least another month of more nothingness.

So frustrating.

The doc is going to talk to my other docs and they are going to look into using an ultrasound bone growth stimulator (sounds sexy I know) to try to make things heal faster (or heal, period.).

I'm fine. Just bored. And frustrated.

Please don't feel bad for me. Just be happy for yourselves. Be grateful for your mobility (except you, KG).

Go outside. Frollick. Do a jig. Send me money.

Why don't deserving people break their ankles?

Yay!

Finally arrived back in LA.

About a month and a half late.

Oops.

Excited for life to kind of return to normal.

Not yay.

So on top of breaking his leg, it turns out KG also completely tore his ACL and is going to need reconstructive surgery that will take 4-6 months to fully recover from.



His new ACL may come from a cadaver. Eeek.

The first thing I did when I heard this was look up "How To Get Rid of Ghosts..."

(After all, the last place you want a ghost is on the INSIDE of your KNEE.)

Here are some really useful suggestions I found:

How To Get Rid of Ghosts:

The simplest solution is usually most reliable: Speak to the ghost, out loud.

Shout, if you feel you must. Explain to your ghost that he/she is doing things that bother you. Explain exactly what those things are. Ask the ghost to stop immediately. If you want the ghost to leave altogether, you need to say that.

This usually works. However, some ghosts won't take you seriously, and you may need to remind it to leave you alone several times before it stays away.

Holy Water is another tried-and-true remedy for ghosts.

Respectfully and quietly enter your nearest Catholic Church, carrying a small jar or bottle from home. Somewhere in the public area, there will be a large container of Holy Water, usually stainless steel with a cross and a spigot on it.

Fill your container with Holy Water. It's nice to leave a small donation for this, too. (A dollar or two is customary.)

Make a broad Sign of the Cross at the site of the wound, allowing the water to fly off your fingers as you gesture. (If you don't know how to make a Sign of the Cross, ask any Catholic.)

It can be helpful to add an out-loud prayer, such as "I bless this [knee] in the name of God," or, "I banish all evil spirits from this [knee], in the name of the Sweet Baby Jesus," or something like that.

(If you feel silly saying this, and can't help laughing as you do it, don't do it. This is not a light or casual ritual.)

Prayer and religion

Your ancestors, deities, and saints are in the spirit world, as your ghost is. It's logical to ask the help of these friendly spirits.

If you have a shrine--formal or informal (such as a display of photos)--to your ancestors, have a chat with your favorite deceased ancestor. Explain the situation to him/her, and ask for help.

If you're very upset about your ghost, we recommend the Irish saint, St. Dymphna, who is the patron saint of mental health. She's great for calming situations. We save St. Jude for extreme situations when all else has failed. He's busy enough with others' urgent requests.

Pagans may want to use a banishing ritual, unless the idea bothers you, obviously.

Garlic

Don't laugh! Garlic is a tried-and-true repellant for unpleasant spirits of all kinds. Minced garlic is easily spreadable. Rub it on the site where you need protection. A clove in your pocket is a good idea, too.

If you believe in folk magic, you can create a small pouch with several protection herbs in it, including five-finger grass, cinnamon, and echinacea. However, don't overdo this. The point is to repel ghosts, not drive everyone else away from you! *grin*

The shoe remedy

This one sounds silly but gets great results: When you go to bed at night, set out the shoes you'll wear in the morning. Place them at the foot of your bed, on the floor, with one shoe pointing one way, and the other shoe pointing the opposite way.

According to folklore, the ghosts get so confused by this, they leave after a few nights.

(If you like this one, scroll down to see the sand remedy.)

Incense and space clearing (mostly for clearing haunted houses)

Light the incense and carry it around, making certain that you get the smoke everywhere, particularly inside closets, room corners (use a sturdy chair or ladder for uppermost corners), attics, basements, and so on.

Or, you can ring a bell in every corner, and in every room. Or clap your hands.

The whole idea is to get the air moving in stale corners where ghosts may be hiding.

If you can't do anything else, vacuum!

Sand, rice, split peas, etc.

Randomly toss rice, split peas, sand, salt (but not sugar as it leaves a sticky residue), coffee beans or grounds, or anything small and granular, on your bedroom floor when you go to bed at night (if that's when the ghost is most bothersome).

According to folklore, the ghosts will pause to count the grains of whatever-it-is. They aren't very good at counting, so they have to start over again, repeatedly, or they forget the numbers.

Clean up the mess in the morning, and do the same routine again at night.

After a few nights of this, the ghost should throw its hands up in frustration, give up, and leave.

............................

Hope that's helpful!

Hang in there KG!

Guys, keep sending him words of encouragements.