More email drama!

Yay. I sent out another class email this morning that probably pissed off another group of people.

Here's one aggro email I got in response to the not at all ill-intentioned email I sent this morning:

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from Marguerite Lamesauce [Lamesauce@gmail.com]
to Class of 2004 [dkwan@gmail.com]
date Tue, May 26, 2009 at 11:51 AM
subject Re: Best. Reunion. Ever.

Hi Dennis,

While I appreciate your email's jovial tone, I want to let you know that I think it's kind of wildly unfair for you to call a $10 donation ridiculous, and something that someone should be ashamed of. I think it's great that you can afford a $50 parking ticket without a second thought, but for many of us out there (working for non-profits, or in grad school, or, sigh, working for non-profits AFTER accumulating grad school loans) $50 is a full week's food and fun budget.

Generally I wouldn't say anything, but as someone who actually has done a fair amount of fund development work since graduation, I know how incredibly demoralizing it can be for potential donors to hear that what they can afford to give is something they should be ashamed of, not proud of. If I hadn't already given to Brown, your email's dismissal of what I can afford would have probably made me decide that my money would be better spent on a different charity. And, basically, isn't the primary function of your role here fund development for Brown? Please remember that a lot of your fellow classmates are working for the better good, and that the better good pays very little. You'll be more successful in not pissing people off.

Marguerite

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I happened to be mid-convo with our hilarious friend "Tyler" at the time that email came roaring in, so I showed it to him.

Love love love his rebuttal.

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from "Tyler" [Imgonnadonate10GstoBrown@gmail.com]
to DK [dk@gmail.com]
date Tue, May 26, 2009 at 12:12 PM
subject RE: Best. Reunion. Ever.

Dude.

You should write back:

The reason that Brown has the lowest endowment of any ivy is smart people like you who are so self obsessed that they have forgotten that philanthropic non profit work really is not worth it. LOL. Pony up some loot already. Furthermore if your debt/budget is so depressing that you are offended that I’m asking people in their LATE TWENTIES for more than $10 you should definitely consider a career change rather than wasting your energy debasing my fundraising tactics.

NOT TO BE QUOTED LOL!

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God I love my friends.

Here's the email I had written:

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from Class of 2004 [dkwan@gmail.com]
to Everyone
date Tue, May 26, 2009 at 11:22 AM
subject Best. Reunion. Ever.

Class of '04!!!

What an incredible weekend.

The weather was perfect.....so many lovely familiar faces (many or most of them looking better than ever)......there was Campus Dance... our incredible Class Party ...sidewalk dining on Thayer...getting removed en masse from East Side Pockets by the po-lice....hitting a 3am '04 dance party in the mochamp lounge......gosh, it was so much fun. I'm filled with so much Brownlove I think I might need to scream.

If you missed out, I am very sorry. BROWN FAIL on your part.

If you planned your wedding on the same weekend as your five-year reunion and forced all your '04 friends to make the most awful heart-wrenching decision of their lives? Congratulations!!!!!...but SERIOUSLY EPIC BROWN FAIL.

I love Brown so freaking much and I hope you all feel a fraction of the way I do.

The fact that I can be in a room where an endearingly idiotic former football star (who routinely rips the entire seat of his pants performing his "signature" dance move), a jetsetting Thai princess (and international bedwetter), and a man wearing a pirate costume or top hat for no apparent reason (one shouldn't ever need an excuse to wear a pirate costume or top hat) are all friends and acquaintances makes me appreciate what a special and diverse and amazing place Brown is.

Every single one of you makes our class what it is.

Brown graduates all march to their own beat, and yet I think we have a class spirit like no other.

Hopefully we'll also raise the bar on donations - destroying all other reunion classes from now into eternity.

And with that....if you still haven't donated to the Annual Fund, for the love of god please do it already.

We're about to break a class record for the 5th Reunion.

Donate as much as you're comfortable with. Even if it's just $50.

Or $20.

(I'm not going to say $10. $10 is ridiculous and you should be ashamed for even thinking it.)

www.gifts.brown.edu
www.gifts.brown.edu
www.gifts.brown.edu

$50 is nothing. $50 is a PARKING TICKET.

And if you've donated previously, the Twice as Nice challenge says that if you donate again before June 30, some anonymous Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags will match your second donation 1 for 1!

Help make the Brown you know and love even better for future generations. (Brown Police have tricked out segways now, how sweet is that?)

Don't think I don't know that many of you lied right to my face when I asked if you had donated yet.

ChrisPalmisano I'm going to kill you!

Congratulations to Jess Kingsbro on her 21.5-inch BABY!

Love you all. Sweet sweet hangin'!

-DK

--
'04 Communications
www.dkheadshots.com

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OK. After this entry I'll stop stalling and start posting Campus Dance posts already.

I just have to say that I really do love Brown with all my soul and I feel amazingly blessed and privileged to have had everything in my life set up perfectly so that I was able to attend.

Relative to other people, I had it really easy. Never had to work a student job or stress about loans. Just had to get good grades and not end up in jail. I had my life handed to me, and I shouldn't be such a jerk.

I have to thank my dad and my grandparents for paving the way for all of us. I really do admire my friends and peers who have worked really hard to get where they are.

And I know the poor ones won't be poor for long. Otherwise HELLOOOo we would not be friends!

Lame Email Controversy | Part 2 : The Apology

So I felt a little bad. I don't like being on anyone's bad side. Especially not the bad side of an Obese (it's often hard to tell which side is worse, they're all pretty bad.)

I mean...I just want everyone to love and be loved and be pretty and have perfect teeth and clear skin and walk into the sunset laughing and pushing each other into the bushes. Is that too much too ask?

I wrote the apology email.

Sorry, Woonertons.

But it got a well-received response!

See below:

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from PETER MORONGO [pmorongo@gmail.com]
to Class of 2004 [dkwan@gmail.com]
date Mon, May 25, 2009 at 2:42 AM
subject Re: Apologies and Pigflu
mailed-by gmail.com

2:42 AM (12 hours ago)

Dennis,

Please forward this email on to whomever necessary...

Upon reading your email to the class and included apology, my thoughts quickly jumped to your comments. They were witty, attention getting and exactly what the class needed. In this world of mass-messaging and a quick-fix-info society, your email got my attention, and certainly increased my interest in our reunion.

Thank you for you personality, individuality and courage in taking a chance. Hopefully there will be more leaders of your elk.

Please continue the good work, and I am much obliged for your influence on the wonderful, energy-packed weekend. In my opinion, I believe your email helped our class come closer together. Brown graduates were not meant to follow the lead of anyone, especially any influences that inhibit free speech. Thank you.

All the Best,
Pete

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Really nice right? I think I might print that one out and frame it.

I love my classmates. I love Brown! Peter gets a cyber-hug!

................

So here's the apology email I had written:

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from DKwan@brown.edu
to Brown2004 listserve
date Friday, May 22, 2009 at 9:02 AM
subject Apologies and Pigflu

I hope everyone is packing their bags and returning for what is destined to be a record breaking attendance for the 5th reunion. The weather forecast is great and Campus Dance tables, stages and bars are being set up right now.

As class of 2004 Communications Chair I realize that I might have missed the mark with my humour with some of you on my last email. I did not mean to offend anyone, and I apologize. I'm just excited to get back to campus !!! Get yourself in gear and do the same.

Also, just so you're aware, a case of the pigflu has been reported at Brown according to the Providence Journal:

http://newsblog.projo.com/2009/05/brown-universit-4.html

Administrators have been advised by the Rhode Island Department of Health, which confirmed the swine flu case, and there is no need to adjust any of the weekend events. Just stay away from coughing and sneezing strangers and DEFINITELY do not let them put their hands in your mouth.

See you soon!

-Dennis

--
DK '04
Communications Chair
www.dkheadshots.com

Lame Email Controversy / Obeses Ruin Everything: Part 1

So for like the past decade or so I've been the on-and-off Communications person for the Brown Class of 2004.

As such, I was tasked with sending out an email to get people excited for Campus Dance/5-year reunion by urging them to upload pictures to a communal photo album to give them a sense of unity and to remind them of how much they love Brown and of course to get them to donate millions of dollars to the school...

Well...knowing how people in general abhor standard form emails begging for alumni money, I thought why not write something a little more personalized and fun and informal...after all, these are my peers.

I threw something together in like ten minutes of the top of my head. Added a few "OMG"s and shot it off to the class.

Got a ton of responses from long lost friends and acquaintances I haven't seen in a while saying how excited they were for reunion etc etc etc.

Then a day later I get an email from the Director of Alumni Relations saying they had received a complaint from someone who was deeply offended by my email.

Lame!

Below is the letter I got from AR:

from Diana Pigwell [DianaPigwell@brown.edu]
to dkwan@gmail.com
date Thu, May 21, 2009 at 11:39 AM
subject 2004 reunion BRAVO email blast

Hi Dennis,

I was hoping to call you but find I have no phone number on record for you. I find talking in person is always easier to discuss and find solutions to touchy situations.

I wanted to let you know that one of your classmates has contacted us and was upset by the recent email blast you sent. The classmate sent an anonymous email to Alumni Relations and expressed disappointment in the email content and apparently thought the email was from our office and wanted an apology from Alumni Relations.

I have not responded to the email yet but would like to let the person know the email was not written by the office but rather by a classmates who is very excited about the upcoming reunion and has a sense of humor that might not “jive” with other but that no offence was intended. Before doing that I wanted to give you the heads up and if you have any other suggestions you would like me to share with your classmate and if you would like to address the concern by sending another email to your class.

Some suggested text ideas :

I hope everyone is packing their bags and returning for what is destined to be a record breaking attendance for the 5th reunion. The weather forecast is great and Campus Dance tables, stages and bars are begin set up right now.

As class of 2004 Communications Chair I have learned that I might have missed the mark with my humor with some of you on my last email. I did not mean to offend anyone just excited to get back to campus and enjoy !!! Get yourself in gear and do the same.

I know we each have our own style and maybe you can adjust accordingly knowing there is some sensitively out there.

Thanks Dennis I will look forward to hearing from you and I hope I might meet you in person this weekend

Diana Pigwell
Director of Alumni Relations
Brown University

Hmmmph.

Want to read the original email I sent? (Which IMO was hardly offensive?)

Here it is:

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from DKwan@brown.edu
to Brown2004 listserve
date Thu, May 20, 2009 at 11:02 AM
subject REUNIONTIME COMETH!!!!

Class of '04!!!!

Can you believe our 5-year reunion is like 4 DAYS AWAY???

Who got fat? Who had a baby?

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Ahem. Sorry.

Alumni Relations would like me to ask you to join our Class of '04 Facebook Group if you haven't already and upload your favorite past reunion photos directly to the group (Alumni Relations used to do their own web galleries but have now succumbed to Facebook's impending world domination).

Also please post lots of obnoxious messages on the wall. Love that.

The link to our Class of '04 Facebook page is:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2200149432&ref=ts

Make sure to include your favorite embarrassing drunkface pictures of your former best friends / mortal enemies and of course remember to TAG them! Haha. Just kidding! (Not really. Do it.)

Also, if you haven't yet donated to the annual fund, PLEASE DONATE ALREADY. We need your money to break all kinds of class donation records this year.

www.gifts.brown.edu

See you soon! I'll be at the free drink table!

-DK
'04 Communcations Chair (I think)
www.dkheadshots.com

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Whaddaya think?

Clearly whoever wrote the "anonymous email" is an obese, right?

Or maybe she had a baby.

Or maybe she had a baby obese.

Oh god. Just what the world needs.