Yesterday we went to China.
Squat toilets? Check.
Excited about this little excursion we were not.
After a three-hour boat ride we arrived in gray, crumbling, advertisement-free China in search of the town where everything and everyone is Kwan.
We drove along crazy chaotic roads where lane dividers, stop signs, and traffic lights were really just suggestions.
And where they have obviously no common sense in attempting to appeal to consumers.
After a "meal" at the slightly dilapidated hotel, we drove into the countryside to find the ancient Kwan village...
...finally arriving at the Kwan ancestral house, just recently "restored" by our grandparents for a mere $3000.
Adjacent to the estate was a disgusting little cesspool of a pond, filled with dead fish and giant rat carcasses.
We are so thankful that our grandpa made it out of this hellhole and found his way to the big city.
Others weren't so lucky.
We stayed for about 5 hours, and these old ladies (below) sat on this little stoop picking their toes and watching cars and stray dogs go by THE ENTIRE TIME.
It was kind of neat that everyone in the village was a Kwan, and numerous extended family members that I've never seen or heard of before stopped by to welcome us Alpha-Kwans home, but other than that it was pretty lame.
And hella boring.
Oh AND there was poop EVERYWHERE.
Stray dogs were cute though. Kind of.
And bird flu chickens.
The newest home in the village, built for about $1 million, was quite nice...
...although all the mansions and Maseratis in the world could not persuade me to live in China.
Yeah, I'd have to say the best thing about China...is being able to
leave.
