Friday, June 19, 2009
Kross Kuntry Adventure: Welcome to Hotlanta
Thursday | June 19, 2009
We arose early in the morning to set out for Atlanta.
First stop along the way, was KFC for some KGC.
When we got there though, something amazing happened.
THE KFC BUFFET.
OMG WE LOVES THE SOUTH.
(omg we not-so-much loves fried liver and gizzards disguised as popcorn chicken.)
It was a relatively easy drive through Mississippi and Alabama.
Once we hit the ATL we popped in our grillz...you know...to look more like the local folk.
Stopped for another snack at Steak N' Shake...
And then arrived at Lauren's beautiful home, which is straight out of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
-----------------------
Night fell... and we descended upon the city.
We headed to the W Hotel, which was packed with a mixture of gays and straights and a smattering of obeses.
Ohhhh...AND THEN (No "and then"!) Lauren's friend brought us to a place called Swingin' Richards which if you are good at deciphering deeply encrypted codes you can figure out what that translates to...
Strippers strippers everywhere. AND THEN (No "and then"!) at midnight they trotted a little MIDGET STRIPPER.
It was AMAZING.
And he was surprisingly hot.
Seriously. Nice muscled midget body, cute face.
I was so confused.
Thank you Lauren for showing us such a weird wonderful time.
We arose early in the morning to set out for Atlanta.
First stop along the way, was KFC for some KGC.
When we got there though, something amazing happened.
THE KFC BUFFET.
OMG WE LOVES THE SOUTH.
(omg we not-so-much loves fried liver and gizzards disguised as popcorn chicken.)
It was a relatively easy drive through Mississippi and Alabama.
Once we hit the ATL we popped in our grillz...you know...to look more like the local folk.
Stopped for another snack at Steak N' Shake...
And then arrived at Lauren's beautiful home, which is straight out of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
-----------------------
Night fell... and we descended upon the city.
We headed to the W Hotel, which was packed with a mixture of gays and straights and a smattering of obeses.
Ohhhh...AND THEN (No "and then"!) Lauren's friend brought us to a place called Swingin' Richards which if you are good at deciphering deeply encrypted codes you can figure out what that translates to...
Strippers strippers everywhere. AND THEN (No "and then"!) at midnight they trotted a little MIDGET STRIPPER.
It was AMAZING.
And he was surprisingly hot.
Seriously. Nice muscled midget body, cute face.
I was so confused.
Thank you Lauren for showing us such a weird wonderful time.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Biloxi Mississippi KFC Buffet
Am I in a dream world?
Also I think an obese tranny fell off the stage last night and lost her dress...
-- Post From My iPhone
Also I think an obese tranny fell off the stage last night and lost her dress...
-- Post From My iPhone
Kross Kuntry Adventure: NOLA Night 2: Bar-hopping and Drag Queen Mayhem
We kicked off the evening with birthday present opening via iChat with Smershy's family...
Mrs. Del Smershy went all-out with the gifting...
Like seriously...
We popped into an outdoor concert thingy...
Then headed to Port of Call for head-sized Monsoons and world-famous hamburgers.
Afterwards, we stumbled over to Lafitte's, supposedly the oldest bar in America.
We ordered Hurricanes there. And those too were head-sized. We drank half and discarded the rest as to pace ourselves for an evening of epicness.
Next we hit Napolean's Itch to visit our new favorite bartender Phil Pizza.
He made us Mint Juleps.
And a super spicy Cajun Bloody Mary.
After all this, birthday boy Danny was clearly a bit wastedface.
Next up were Flaming Dr. Peppers.
While attempting to carry mine, I accidentally spilled a little and caught on fire.
I screamed. Everyone screamed.
But it was kind of funny. Except for the burning.
Birthday friends! Hooray!
Our last stop was Oz for a drag show.
The Emcee tranny wished Danny a happy birthday.
AND THEN the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life happened.
The obese drag queen performer was on stage singing a song, and randomly slipped and SOMERSAULTED OFF THE STAGE AND LOST HER DRESS.
She just stood there in her bra and panties and leggings and girdle.
Everyone was horrified.
But of course we took pictures.
That was our cue to leave.
The End.
Goodbye New Orleans!
Mrs. Del Smershy went all-out with the gifting...
Like seriously...
We popped into an outdoor concert thingy...
Then headed to Port of Call for head-sized Monsoons and world-famous hamburgers.
Afterwards, we stumbled over to Lafitte's, supposedly the oldest bar in America.
We ordered Hurricanes there. And those too were head-sized. We drank half and discarded the rest as to pace ourselves for an evening of epicness.
Next we hit Napolean's Itch to visit our new favorite bartender Phil Pizza.
He made us Mint Juleps.
And a super spicy Cajun Bloody Mary.
After all this, birthday boy Danny was clearly a bit wastedface.
Next up were Flaming Dr. Peppers.
While attempting to carry mine, I accidentally spilled a little and caught on fire.
I screamed. Everyone screamed.
But it was kind of funny. Except for the burning.
Birthday friends! Hooray!
Our last stop was Oz for a drag show.
The Emcee tranny wished Danny a happy birthday.
AND THEN the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life happened.
The obese drag queen performer was on stage singing a song, and randomly slipped and SOMERSAULTED OFF THE STAGE AND LOST HER DRESS.
She just stood there in her bra and panties and leggings and girdle.
Everyone was horrified.
But of course we took pictures.
That was our cue to leave.
The End.
Goodbye New Orleans!
Kross Kuntry Adventure: NOLA Day 2 / Ninth Ward
Wednesday | June 18, 2009
We met up with the birthday girl for brunch an cupcakes.
Brunch consisted of Fried Chicken Salad.
And a "Breathtaking Beef" Po-Boy slathered in horseradish mayo. SO DELICIOUS.
After making a hefty $3 profit on the diner slot machine...
Smershy's wonderful roommate Jeanne took us on a tour of the Ninth Ward - the area devastated by hurricane Katrina.
The first things we saw were some of the new developments spearheaded by Brad Pitt & Co.
They are very interestingly designed with solar panels and all that shiz.
As you drive along though, you see that many of these newer homes are interspersed with lots of completely missing or deserted homes. A lot of the hurricane damage remains untouched.
Sadface!
Anyway, quite an interesting area to visit.
We also stopped by Jackson Square for some shopping!
And ended up at the wonderful jewelry store Mignon Faget!
On Peniston Street!
Gosh I love Nola.
We met up with the birthday girl for brunch an cupcakes.
Brunch consisted of Fried Chicken Salad.
And a "Breathtaking Beef" Po-Boy slathered in horseradish mayo. SO DELICIOUS.
After making a hefty $3 profit on the diner slot machine...
Smershy's wonderful roommate Jeanne took us on a tour of the Ninth Ward - the area devastated by hurricane Katrina.
The first things we saw were some of the new developments spearheaded by Brad Pitt & Co.
They are very interestingly designed with solar panels and all that shiz.
As you drive along though, you see that many of these newer homes are interspersed with lots of completely missing or deserted homes. A lot of the hurricane damage remains untouched.
Sadface!
Anyway, quite an interesting area to visit.
We also stopped by Jackson Square for some shopping!
And ended up at the wonderful jewelry store Mignon Faget!
On Peniston Street!
Gosh I love Nola.
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