It is fun to look back and re-live your childhood once in a while. Awkward as it may have been.
I started out as a pretty cute kid.
I would even venture to say super-ridiculous cute.
Like I think I should have been a little Gap kid or something.
Also my dad was once hot-ish. Go figure.
And this whole time while I'm off being this adorable photogenic little toddler, Sandra was a total chubbo...
Of course, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh...
..................
We moved to RI in the fall of '87. (Around this time I apparently busted out my very first GayPose as well...)
And I was able to enjoy a year or two more of cute skinny goodness...
...but before long, my teeth disappeared and my eyes failed me.
And from there it went downhill real fast.
Sandra used to gloat like a little b*tch, knowing that her chubbo years were over and that she had just been professionally anorexified, while I was about to endure a decade or more of awful, incomprehensible awkwardness.
I know everyone from Denise Richards to Mahatma Gandhi claims to have gone through "an awkward phase" at some point in their lives, but I 98.8% promise you that your awkward phase was nothing like this.
(P.S., I'm not making faces in these pictures. I really just looked like this.)
God. So awful.
Looking back... it's kind of funny.
But gosh it was cruel.
To take the most beautiful little toddler...and rip out his teeth? AND THEN slap enormous tiger-rimmed glasses on him? AND THEN give him a bowl-cut? AND THEN grow him taller and more chubbo than everyone else so that family, friends, and total strangers could proceed to point and laugh at him for next decade and into the rest of eternity?
Soooo unnecessary.
If you want the more extensive album, I uploaded it here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2108289&l=1352e&id=1001693
Enjoy, you bastards.
