Divorce Mania

Michael K. from "DListed" pretty much summed up my feelings on Kim Kardashian's "marriage/divorce": "The dead horse that is the sanctity of marriage just got up & reached for a bat to beat itself some more while mouthing the word "sorry" to the gays."



In other divorcing celebrity news, AshtonKutcher was spotted at the Warby Parker event in LA yesterday.



Kind of jealous because I believe former peacock/black swan KatieHunt was there helping to run the event since big brother Andy co-founded the company.

Pretty awesome how much the brand has taken off!

Ricky Martin Comes Out of the Closet, 82-Year-Old Woman in Nebraska Gasps.

From EW.com-

Latin heartthrob Ricky Martin announced on his blog today that he is “a fortunate gay man,” which probably elicited two reactions: “duh!” and “double duh!”

Duh: Anyone who looks like Ricky is “fortunate.” And double duh: The announcement that he’s gay is about as shocking as when Sean Hayes came out on the cover of The Advocate last month. After all, Ricky has been living la vida “don’t ask, don’t tell” for a long time—sometimes there was a girlfriend; other times, Ricky was doing stretching exercises on a beach. With another guy. In a Speedo.



But let’s put the cynicism (and the “He Bangs” jokes) aside for a moment. Coming out — even in this post Ellen/Rosie/Lance Bass/Neil Patrick Harris age — takes courage, especially when you’re a public figure. You immediately become a spokesperson, whether you like it or not (and for that matter, whether the gay community wants you to be or not.) In fact, the entire gay movement can apparently rest on your shoulders: “[Ricky Martin's] decision to model this kind of openness and honesty can lead to a greater acceptance for countless gay people in the U.S., in Latin America and worldwide,” said Jarrett Barrios, president of GLAAD, in a statement.

Moreover, your sexual orientation ends up defining you: The word “gay” will always precede “singer” or “actor” in a way that the word “straight” doesn’t always precede, say, Tom Hanks’ name. As proud as many of us are of our sexual orientation, we still want to be known for more than that.

So Ricky deserves plaudits—no matter how overdue or obvious the announcement may be.

Hermione might go to Brown next year!

Or Yale. She might choose Yale.



Whatever. Everyone knows Brown is so much more awesomer.

Michael Cera signs on to Arrested Development movie!!!!

Michael Cera has FINALLY agreed to do the Arrested Development movie!!!!!

Everyone else had already signed on and he, being the biggest breakout star of that show, had been the lone holdout.

Maybe they'll bring back the show if the movie is a huge success???

Oh that would be so wonderful.

Or they can just make movie after movie after movie.

Read more at E! Online.

Tom Cruise is a Jackass

Tom Cruise's stupidity almost caused an international incident while he was in Brazil promoting his latest movie Valkyrie. Page Six reports:

Cruise tried to ingratiate himself to reporters by saying hola (hello) and gracias (thanks), not realizing that the language of Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish. According to Glamurama.com, Cruise also said he fell in love with Brazil watching movies about samba and tango, unaware that tango is an Argentine dance.

Realizing he'd made a faux pas, Tom Cruise quickly relied on his OT training to diffuse the situation. He then asked for his favorite Brazilian dish, General Tso's Chicken.

Angelina Jolie's uterus benched.

Angelina Jolie has been advised by doctors to put down the uterus. After her last two pregnancies ended with complications, she'd be facing significant health risks with another baby. OK! Magazine reports:

"Her previous pregnancies ended with emergency caesarian secions," an insider tells OK!. "She's been told that, at the least, she should not get pregnant for a year after her last deliver, and it would be safer if she did not get pregnant, ever."

The health complications this time around could pose a direct danger to the Changeling star, Dr. Larrian Gillespie, who has not treated Angie, tells OK!.

"Angelina is at risk of having a stroke or heart attack, and because she developed gestational diabetes, there is a high risk she'll have it again, with the child being at risk for diabetes."

In related news, Brad Pitt was seen at a local bank sulking while placing his penis in a safe deposit box. In the distance, the cackle of Jennifer Aniston's laughter could be heard in the air. Or a pig got hit with a lawnmower. We're looking into it.

Paris Hilton does not understand bunny ears...