Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Engagement pictures!
Pseudo-cousin Joyce (my dad's cousin's daughter) is getting married!
She went to some fancy Hong Kong studio and paid eleventy billion dollars to have beauuuuuutiful wedding pictures taken.
When they presented her with these, she was less than pleased:
She remarked (in her demure, accented, Hong Kong/British English):
"I don't quite like them."
"My eyes look...stiff."
and "So...strange!"
Translated into American:
"I f-ing hate them!"
"I look like a cracked out flapper-girl from the 20's."
and "Why the f are there teddy bears in my wedding photo?!??!"
These are the worst of the bunch. There were actually a couple that were somewhat acceptable, but she didn't like any of them. So, we went downstairs to the pool and garden and shot some more informal, fun ones. I was a little nervous, since she had paid eleventy billion dollars for the others and those were professionally done and lit and I'm still not used to referring to myself as a professional photographer because, well, I'm not.
But I sucked it up and we went and the couple was really awkward at first but we got over it by doing silly shit and I learned a lot about putting people at ease in front of the camera so I'm glad I did it and we ended up with some nice shots and they were really happy so yay.
I'm having lunch today with my cousin Daniel and his friend "Wildy".
Short for "Wildeford".
Oh, Asia...
She went to some fancy Hong Kong studio and paid eleventy billion dollars to have beauuuuuutiful wedding pictures taken.
When they presented her with these, she was less than pleased:
She remarked (in her demure, accented, Hong Kong/British English):
"I don't quite like them."
"My eyes look...stiff."
and "So...strange!"
Translated into American:
"I f-ing hate them!"
"I look like a cracked out flapper-girl from the 20's."
and "Why the f are there teddy bears in my wedding photo?!??!"
These are the worst of the bunch. There were actually a couple that were somewhat acceptable, but she didn't like any of them. So, we went downstairs to the pool and garden and shot some more informal, fun ones. I was a little nervous, since she had paid eleventy billion dollars for the others and those were professionally done and lit and I'm still not used to referring to myself as a professional photographer because, well, I'm not.
But I sucked it up and we went and the couple was really awkward at first but we got over it by doing silly shit and I learned a lot about putting people at ease in front of the camera so I'm glad I did it and we ended up with some nice shots and they were really happy so yay.
I'm having lunch today with my cousin Daniel and his friend "Wildy".
Short for "Wildeford".
Oh, Asia...
Scenes from the Palace
The Chinese New Year mayhem has passed and we have settled back into the daily Hong Kong routine.
Mom has been working out daily. She does tai-chi on her bed when she wakes up and then goes downstairs to the gym and does strange exercises which involve leg lifts and pelvic thrusts. I'm tempted to join her. She claims she's lost one pound. Go Mom.
We went for to the supermarket to get bread and oranges for breakfast. I have been eating lots of oranges. Oranges are yummy. I have a cool way of peeling them now and it is very very exciting.
For lunch I ate a porkchop and subsequently felt very bad about myself.
Then, at dinner, fate handed me another porkchop.
(My grandma, after noticing that for a couple days I haven't been eating any of the fishes or abalones or chicken feets or weird fungal creations that the maids have been making, decided to take it upon herself to go to the market and buy some porkchops.)
Breaded, fried, and served on a bed of homemade french fries.
Oh my god. I am such a porkchop.
I went and did lunges around the pool.
The rest of the evening was uneventful. There were some fireworks over Hong Kong harbor that we watched from the balcony:
My grandma watched some soap operas:
Uncle Steve practiced his salsa stretching exercises and danced around the living room:
And I played with Mercy and Jo who I want to take home with me because they cook and clean and even iron my t-shirts and underwear.
If you look closely, Mercy's apron reads (and these are not typos):
"Welcome to the North Pole!"
"White bear wants to know everything about you!"
"Welcance with me!"
"I hope you'll always be"
"White Bear & Black Penguin be a friedy in the world."
"Sunshin allways make me joy!"
You gotta love Asia.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
On Asian Names and People:
It's 7:30 am. I am jetlagged. The city is sleeping.
So I did what any normal person would do, I signed onto friendster for a marathon profile browsing session.
People in Hong Kong (more-so than other Asian people, I think) (but maybe not) name their kids/themselves the weirdest, most unforgiving names. And also they're weird looking.
From what I understand, everyone has to learn English in elementary school. Those who haven't been provided with an English name by their parents are allowed to choose their own. Often, the "names" come from textbooks, pop culture, street signs, fruits, candies, etc. Often, totally outdated names like "Ignatius" or "Bernard" are chosen. Often, totally normal names are butchered beyond recognition. Or maybe they just throw some cookware down a flight of stairs and see what random sounds come out of it. And the teachers, like "Veronique Wong" and "Maybelline Mao", just don't know any better.
Thank god their peers don't know any better either, lest they suffer severe beatings and clowning their entire life.
So....here we go:
Bunnel.
Like the...cake...?
Celix.
(I think Felix was already taken.)
Certain.
As in "I'm fairly certain that isn't really a name..."
Creamy.
I hope that's the dog's name...
Actually, wait. No. That might be even worse.
Cherry.
Not as bad as Apple, I suppose...
Nocturne.
It sounds kind of creepy and child-molest-y...it's perfect!
Haemoglobin.
Add an "a" and POOF! It's a name!
Heimerich.
(He must be part German.)
Mosquito!
"Nice to meet you...Mosqui--OH MY GOD WOMAN YOU'RE HIDEOUS!!!"
Chocolette.
"Oh! That's so pretty!!!"
Fiance.
Uh huh, right...good luck with that...
Jabbie.
Ok...but only because you're kind of cute...
Lopez.
It's kind of a name...maybe not a first name...
May-ball.
Why stop at May?
Nestle.
"Oh! You should meet my friend Chocolette!"
Meavus.
Kind of like a cross between Mavis and...Beavus...?
And last but not least...
MeGOAOA.
(She thought using funky capitalization would help people remember her better...)
So I did what any normal person would do, I signed onto friendster for a marathon profile browsing session.
People in Hong Kong (more-so than other Asian people, I think) (but maybe not) name their kids/themselves the weirdest, most unforgiving names. And also they're weird looking.
From what I understand, everyone has to learn English in elementary school. Those who haven't been provided with an English name by their parents are allowed to choose their own. Often, the "names" come from textbooks, pop culture, street signs, fruits, candies, etc. Often, totally outdated names like "Ignatius" or "Bernard" are chosen. Often, totally normal names are butchered beyond recognition. Or maybe they just throw some cookware down a flight of stairs and see what random sounds come out of it. And the teachers, like "Veronique Wong" and "Maybelline Mao", just don't know any better.
Thank god their peers don't know any better either, lest they suffer severe beatings and clowning their entire life.
So....here we go:
Bunnel.
Like the...cake...?
Celix.
(I think Felix was already taken.)
Certain.
As in "I'm fairly certain that isn't really a name..."
Creamy.
I hope that's the dog's name...
Actually, wait. No. That might be even worse.
Cherry.
Not as bad as Apple, I suppose...
Nocturne.
It sounds kind of creepy and child-molest-y...it's perfect!
Haemoglobin.
Add an "a" and POOF! It's a name!
Heimerich.
(He must be part German.)
Mosquito!
"Nice to meet you...Mosqui--OH MY GOD WOMAN YOU'RE HIDEOUS!!!"
Chocolette.
"Oh! That's so pretty!!!"
Fiance.
Uh huh, right...good luck with that...
Jabbie.
Ok...but only because you're kind of cute...
Lopez.
It's kind of a name...maybe not a first name...
May-ball.
Why stop at May?
Nestle.
"Oh! You should meet my friend Chocolette!"
Meavus.
Kind of like a cross between Mavis and...Beavus...?
And last but not least...
MeGOAOA.
(She thought using funky capitalization would help people remember her better...)
The Year of the Dawg
Gung Hay Fat Choy!!!
It's Chinese New Year!!!
Today we stayed at home and received visitors all day.
Because my grandma is the matriarch of the family, all the family members and extended family members and old friends and staff came to pay their respect.
It's an all day semi-feast ("semi" because the food is not that great). Basically as guests arrive, they set the table and serve a meal of assorted cakes, puddings, crackers, and things. Everyone eats and drinks tea and catches up. Then the guests leave. The table gets cleared. Everything gets washed. More guests arrive. The maids frantically cook and clean. The table gets re-set. New food (the exact same meal we just ate previously) is served. And we all sit down again to eat with the new guests. This goes on all day and at the end of the day we've gone through the whole cycle about twelve times.
What makes it all worthwhile?
Little red packets of lai-see.
All containing $$$.
Each adult visitor brings a packet or two for each "child" for good luck.
Also, there is a dragon dance.
Interesting fact: Dragons eat oranges and lettuce. And money.
By the end of the day, everyone is exhausted and sick of turnip cakes and old, talkative people who just don't know when to LEAVE.
But then we remember that we have our wonderful little red packets of joy and FINALLY we get to see what's inside.
Chinese New Year. Is awesome.
It's Chinese New Year!!!
Today we stayed at home and received visitors all day.
Because my grandma is the matriarch of the family, all the family members and extended family members and old friends and staff came to pay their respect.
It's an all day semi-feast ("semi" because the food is not that great). Basically as guests arrive, they set the table and serve a meal of assorted cakes, puddings, crackers, and things. Everyone eats and drinks tea and catches up. Then the guests leave. The table gets cleared. Everything gets washed. More guests arrive. The maids frantically cook and clean. The table gets re-set. New food (the exact same meal we just ate previously) is served. And we all sit down again to eat with the new guests. This goes on all day and at the end of the day we've gone through the whole cycle about twelve times.
What makes it all worthwhile?
Little red packets of lai-see.
All containing $$$.
Each adult visitor brings a packet or two for each "child" for good luck.
Also, there is a dragon dance.
Interesting fact: Dragons eat oranges and lettuce. And money.
By the end of the day, everyone is exhausted and sick of turnip cakes and old, talkative people who just don't know when to LEAVE.
But then we remember that we have our wonderful little red packets of joy and FINALLY we get to see what's inside.
Chinese New Year. Is awesome.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Mr. Frog has a bad day...
Today we went to the Street Market.
I used to hate going to the market because it smells and is generally dirty and gross. But today I found it more amusing than revolting. Something about my grandma going to the market is cute and funny. It's kind of like the Queen of England descending from her floating cloud castle to mingle with the street urchins. Fun times.
So, the market. Kind of like the Santa Monica Farmer's Market, right?
Right...
Kind of...
Actually, no.
Not really...
Not really...at all.
It starts out friendly enough...
The flower lady!
Fruits!
Vegetables!
Fishes!
Top o' the Mornin', Mr. Crab!
Hello, Flu-Infested Chickens!
Hello...Bag of Frogs...
Hey...where...are you taking...Mr. Frog...?
AHHHhhHHhhHHH!!!!!!
MR. FROG!!!!!
ohhh noooooo!!!! (yes the nice man did just rip their skins clear off.)
Eeeeeekkkk!!!!!!
Hmmmmm....
AHHhHHhHhHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!?!?!?!
So...the Hong Kong street market...not quite the same as 3rd St. Promenade on a warm sunny Sunday...
Time for dinner!
I used to hate going to the market because it smells and is generally dirty and gross. But today I found it more amusing than revolting. Something about my grandma going to the market is cute and funny. It's kind of like the Queen of England descending from her floating cloud castle to mingle with the street urchins. Fun times.
So, the market. Kind of like the Santa Monica Farmer's Market, right?
Right...
Kind of...
Actually, no.
Not really...
Not really...at all.
It starts out friendly enough...
The flower lady!
Fruits!
Vegetables!
Fishes!
Top o' the Mornin', Mr. Crab!
Hello, Flu-Infested Chickens!
Hello...Bag of Frogs...
Hey...where...are you taking...Mr. Frog...?
AHHHhhHHhhHHH!!!!!!
MR. FROG!!!!!
ohhh noooooo!!!! (yes the nice man did just rip their skins clear off.)
Eeeeeekkkk!!!!!!
Hmmmmm....
AHHhHHhHhHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!?!?!?!
So...the Hong Kong street market...not quite the same as 3rd St. Promenade on a warm sunny Sunday...
Time for dinner!
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